A Million Little Pieces
by happygirl57
Summary: He was suffering. Why couldn't she see that? He was never going to be perfect like she wanted him to be, he was never going to be what he's not. All he can do now is keep his heart from breaking into a million little pieces.
1. Prologue

**This is dedicated to Rachel a.k.a "2 kool 2 spell kool right", who is not dead. I found out a few minutes ago, and was originally going to dedicate it to her when I heard she was... you know. Even now that we know that she isn't, I would still like to go through with my dedication. We all love you, Rachel, never forget that. You mean more to us than you know. Stay strong.**

**AN: I don't own anything.**

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><p>What did he ever do to deserve this? Was he really as dumb as they believed him to be? What was wrong with him? Logan Mitchell sat in his room, swinging his legs back and forth as he sat at his desk. He stared down at the math problems that were hopelessly confusing. He didn't understand them, but really, who was there to explain them to him? If he asked his parents, they would help, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that they would make him feel so stupid, telling him that they were going to start to look for tutors for him. He didn't understand. He was in all Honors classes, so wasn't it normal to have trouble with some things?<p>

He would never be the perfect son that they wanted him to be. There was no way. He tried his hardest, he did, but it never seemed enough for his parents. They were always telling him to study, signing him up for classes that he never wanted to attend.

At least they let him have friends. They didn't exactly love them, not because of who they were, but because they took him away from precious studying time. They were always telling him to study, and frankly it worked most of the time, because he was scared of them.

They would always give him these looks, telling him to be as perfect as they wanted him to be. Fake. That's what you could call it. He was rarely himself around them, the perfect façade up whenever someone stopped by to see if he was really as perfect as his parents had told them. He tried not to let it get to him, but it started to fail after some time.

They let him play hockey, but not because they liked it. No, it was because it would look good on his college resume. He wasn't even sure that he wanted to be a doctor, but what choice did he have? After he came home, he did his homework and then worked on separate textbooks that his parents had bought him. He rarely was able to fit in time for his best friends.

He was struggling, trying to fulfill his parents wishes of him. No one saw him struggling, but how he wished they did. But was he really as stupid as they said sometimes? Was he the odd one because of that? If he wasn't the smart one, what was he?

At least he had Kendall, James and Carlos. But that was starting to bother him too. Was he burdening them? Did they too think that he was useless? Because, honestly, that was what he was starting to believe.

He was convinced that they thought he was a coward. He was sure of it. Honestly, he would love to do all those crazy stunts, but his parents would kill him if he got into any trouble. He had never gotten any detention, and when he came close, his friends always seemed to cover for him. It made him feel terrible knowing that they took the blame, but he let them, because even they didn't know how bad it was. His parents would hate him, or simply ignore him, which was worse than anything else. It was as if they were ashamed of him half of the time.

It wasn't like school was any easier. He was bullied, but it had lessened a bit as they got older and his friendship with his friends had strengthened. But, that didn't make anything easier. All those mean words. They are all going to be etched into his head forever. He'd never forget. All those scars and words would bring him down everyday, reminding him constantly that he'll never be good enough. Those words made his heart pound so hard that it made his chest ache.

Sometimes he thought of just ending it all, then the pressure wouldn't be there. He wanted to know how it would feel to be happy for once. Not sad or depressed, but happy. The only thing that made him happy was his friends, and that's what made the pain in his chest dull a bit. It would never fully disappear. He couldn't end it though, he couldn't do that to his friends. He knew that they loved him, and he couldn't put them through more pain then he was already causing them.

He wanted someone to catch him, because he was already falling fast hard and fast. He wanted someone to catch him and just say, "Don't you worry." Because, honestly, no one had ever said that to him.

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><p><strong>AN: That was just a short prologue. I had always planned to post a story like this, but not this soon. I didn't think it was too bad, but I'm not so sure. Logan and his life is a somewhat exaggerated version of my own, but I'll tell you, I'm not suicidal nor do I have any suicidal thoughts. But, please talk to someone if you're struggling with anything. Talk to me, I'm always here. PM me or leave a review, you're free to tell me anything you want, and I'll always be there for you and try my hardest to help you out. Please leave a review.<strong>


	2. Anything For You

**Thank you for all the reviews, favorites and alerts, they really do mean a lot.**

**I know it's been so long, and I'm so sorry. I have been working on this whenever I got the time, but school is eating away my time. I'm really sorry, but I won't keep you waiting any longer.**

**AN: I don't own anything.**

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><p>Logan glances down at his math test. His eyes stops at the red mark at the top of the page. A 85. <em>How could he have been so stupid?<em> He was so disappointed in himself. He had worked so hard, but made several silly mistakes, dropping his grade down to an 85. He felt like slapping himself. _Hard_. He felt like such a failure. He could've done so much better, and he knew it.

His friends, no, his brothers would never understand, though. An 85 for them was heaven. They boasted with pride if they got a grade as high as that. They wouldn't and didn't understand. They never understood why Logan wasn't happy with his grades.

They didn't have his parents. That was the difference. His parents always made him feel like he was never going to be enough. Whenever he got a grade lower than 100, the first thing his parents asked was, "Why not a hundred?" Then they would proceed to make his study all day. But, even 100 wasn't enough. It was always, "Was there any extra credit? Couldn't you have done better?"

Logan was dreading home. He wanted to turn around and run, never coming back. But, he knew he couldn't. No matter how hard and unfair his parents were, he still loved them. He dragged his feet towards the door, thankful that he had some time, even if it was just a few seconds, alone.

Sighing, he pushes the door open, setting his stuff down and collapsing on the couch. God, he was so tired. Not only that, his stomach was churning violently, butterflies fluttering recklessly. _5, 4, 3, 2, 1_.

"Logan, I'm home!" his mother's sweet voice calls out, her voice echoing throughout the empty house. He had known that she would be home in less than a minute. He savored her sweet voice because he_ knew_ it was only going to last a few more short seconds. "Logan, there you are," she arrives in the living area, smiling when she meets Logan's eyes.

She sets her down, letting him sit in silence for a few seconds. Then, she drops the big question. "Did you get your math test back today? What did you get?"

There it was. It was never, "How was your day, sweetie?" or even, "How are you?" No, it was always, the grade that mattered more than anything else always. _Always_. He hated it. It made him feel like the grades were more important to his parents than their own son.

"Not so great, Mom," he says sadly, "I got an 85."

"Oh, sweetie, why? Didn't you study hard enough? Is that why you did so terrible?" Logan grimaced as his mother sat down next to him as she sat down next to him. Her sweet voice made it sound even more bitter. The things she said got to him more than they should have.

She knew. She knew perfectly well how hard he had studied, staying up late at night, practicing. He wanted to scream, yell until she understood, but he didn't. He was a coward. But this wasn't even the beginning. His father was yet to come and that would be when his mother would get more fired up.

"Go and study, Logan. Try to make sure something like this doesn't happen again," she told him sternly, pointing to the staircase. He dragged his backpack up the stairs, just barely making it to his room. _You know don't know how hard I tried, Mom. You just don't get it. I tried my best, but you can't see all my effort. I'll never be as perfect as you want me to be. _

Tears pricked in his eyes, spilling over his pale cheeks nonstop. He was full out sobbing by the time his head hit the pillow. He kicked the pillows on the bed. _Hard_. He wanted to let out his anger and frustration, and the pillows seemed to be the only things that wouldn't cause his mom to run up the staircase because of the noise. She would assume that he was trying to leave, sneak away.

She didn't even trust him. It was a miracle that he was up in his room alone. The purpose of having his own room was completely defeated. She rarely let him out of her sight, and even when she did, she was nosy. She butt into his work, his notes, everything. He was always annoyed at her, _always_.

Time passed, and while tears were constantly welling up in his eyes, he forced them to stop and started on his homework.

Minutes flew by and before he knew it, an hour. By the time he was halfway done with his homework, he heard the front door slam shut. His dad. His dad was definitely better especially in these kinds of situations. His scolding ended in a light, "Just try to do better next time okay, bud?" Then, as soon as he would leave, his mom would take it as her chance to attack.

"Logan! Get down here right now!" his mom calls out. Hesitantly, Logan stands up, makes sure that there are no traces of tears left behind, and climbs slowly down the steps. He wasn't in any hurry to make it downstairs.

He dragged his feet along the cream colored carpet, entering the living room feeling absolutely dreadful.

"What is this, Logan?" his dad asks, disappointed, "You said you knew what to do. You have to study hard, Logan."

Logan looks down, small tears welling up in his eyes. But, he doesn't let them fall. _No_. That would show how weak he was. "I-I did, Dad. I- I just made a few mistakes here and there, that's all."

"That's not okay! You're so stupid, how could you have made these mistakes? God, sometimes I wonder if you're really our son," his mom spat.

That was worse than a punch in the face. Logan's heart dropped upon hearing that.

His dad reaches out to touch his shoulder, "Just try to do better next time okay, bud?" Just like that, he left. Probably off to do work like always.

But, as soon as his dad left, it was his mom's chance to strike. "Logan, it's not okay. You are a stupid little boy. Here, why don't I start finding a tutor for you? I might as well, since you're so dumb."

Logan's bit his lip. _Hard_. So hard that blood began to creep over the cut. He felt sick to his stomach and he wanted to scream and yell, and tell his mom that he was smart, that he didn't need a tutor. For crying out loud, he was in all _honors_ classes. He was scared. So, he stood there and took every harsh, insulting word that left his mother's mouth.

The door slammed shut. Logan was silently grateful.

"Hi, guys," his sister, Rachel sweetly called out, entering the room. But, she stopped at the scene and immediately understood. Her big brother needed saving. It was obvious. His held back tears, his head down, how he looked as is he was about to fall over.

"Hey, Mom?"

"Mmm?" she answered, still focused on Logan.

"Can Logie help me with my homework? I need a little help," she lied through her teeth, knowing she was about to be yelled at, but she would do anything for her brother.

Their mother seethed with anger. "You're just like your brother, aren't you? So stupid-,"

Logan cuts her off, pleading, "Mom, please."

Their mother sighs, defeated, "Fine, go help her. But, later both of you are doing extra work, got that?"

They solemnly nod, too afraid to say anything else. They walk hand in hand towards the stairs, backpacks hanging off their shoulders. When they get to the stairs, Logan lets go of her hand and picks her up. Her legs wrap immediately around his waist, arms around his neck and her head buried in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you for saving me, Rach. I owe you." Logan tells her, burying his nose into her raven hair.

"Don't worry about it, big brother. Anything for you." That was all Logan needed to hear. He hugged her tighter around her waist, determined to never let go. At least there was some good in his life….

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><p><strong>AN: Aww, wasn't that cute at the end? I really wanted him to have a sister cuz I have a lot planned for that. I'm thinking of sibling fluff for the next chapter, how does that sound? I promise not to take this long next time.<strong>

**BTW; Rachel was just a coincidence, I already had decided on the name months ago, and couldn't bring myself to change it. It could be included as part of the dedication though.**

**REVIEW?**


	3. I'll Never Stop

**A few things before you read:**

** 1. Thank you for all the reviews, alerts, favorites, etc. **

**2. As you can see, the name of the story has officially changed from "Don't You Worry" to "A Million Little Pieces". I know where I'm going with this story now.**

**3. Rachel is 10 and Logan is 17. Don't worry, the guys will eventually show up as will the other characters in the future chapters.**

** only reason that Logan calls Rachel "baby" sometimes because she is so much younger than him and she means a lot to him. So, please be mature, not saying that you aren't already...**

**AN: I don't own anything but the plot, but that's good enough for me. :)**

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><p>"Ugh, Mom is just so annoying. It was just one test. Just one! She's never going to understand," Rachel groans, plopping down on the bed, laying down.<p>

"I know right? It's like we're never going to be good enough for her. She doesn't even seem to care about us as much as she seems to care about our grades," I say as I lay down next to her.

"I don't get why. Aren't her kids supposed to mean more than anything else to her in the world?"

"They are, Rach. I don't understand her." I say.

"She doesn't trust us either, Logie. Why doesn't she? She's always comparing us to all these kids out there when we're better than most of them."

"Baby, I don't know. I wish I did. I want to know so badly, but I'm too afraid of her. I'm such a coward aren't I?" I chuckle humorlessly.

"Logie, no. You're not. You've saved me so many times, you're not a coward," she tells me firmly.

I wanted to believe her, I did. But, a little part of me was always telling me that she was more courageous than I ever was. That was _wrong_. I needed to be her protector as her big brother, not the other way around.

I nestle my nose in her brown hair, pulling her closer. "Logan?" her sweet voice asks. I could never get tired of it. She was my world, the reason I was still living. She was my everything. Most people wouldn't believe us to be siblings, we rarely fought, and when we did, we always made up. I loved her more than anything else in the world. If anything ever happened to her, I would _die_.

"Hmm?" I ask as I sit up and pull her onto my lap. She was so tiny.

"Do you think she loves us? I mean, she never says it unless we say it first and that's only 'cause she knows we're expecting her to," she asks looking at me with her large doe- like eyes.

I sigh. That was something I wondered about, too, but I couldn't crush a little girl's heart. "Of course, baby. I guess she just gets frustrated with us a lot," I was lying through my teeth, and I had a feeling that Rachel knew, but she shrugged it off. I was trying to convince myself as well, I realized.

"It doesn't seem like it, Logie. Are- are you sure? Daddy says it to us all the time." I didn't respond. How was I supposed to explain to her that I wasn't sure? Maybe our Mom didn't like putting her emotions out there in the world. I could have told her that, but I didn't believe that in the least bit and I didn't want to lie to her anymore than I had to. If our Dad could do so, then why couldn't she?

I wrap my arms around her from behind and kiss her cheek chastely. "You know I love you, right? You'll always have me."

"I know, big brother, I love you, too. But, it's not the same, you know?" I did know. I wished that out mom told us that all the time. "You know what's funny, Logan?" she chuckles humorlessly. I knew that laugh, it meant that she was upset.

"I can't even remember the last time we spent alone time as a family. What was it like, three years ago?"

"Yeah," I sigh sadly, "Dad's always at work and Mom is always telling us to go and study. So, you're right, I can't remember either." I lean my head back and close my eyes, unconsciously running my fingers through Rachel's brown locks.

"We should start our homework," she mumbles against my shoulder blade.

"Later," I mumble back, playing with strands of her hair. "You're okay, right?"

"Yeah, Logie, for now. I love you."

"I love you, too, baby sister, and I'll never stop." I wanted to tell her that I would never stop trying to protect her from our mom, too, but I would never tell her that because our we never knew with her.

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><p><strong>AN: I'm kind of embarrassed about this chapter. It was short and disappointing, right? This was definitely not the best I could have done. BUT, there was some foreshadowing in here and is going to be important to the rest of the story.<strong>

**Tons of angst is in store for Logan and Rachel going to be part of all the fun. Haha, I'm so mean.**

**BTW, who's ADDICTED to BTR's new song, "Music Sounds Better With U"? Fun fact, I was listening to it the whole time I wrote this.**

**Review?**


	4. I'll Miss You

**I posted/updated things four days in a row so far, I'm on a writing spree and I'm still going strong.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, favorites and alerts, they make me happy. :)**

**This takes place about two-ish months in the future. **

**AN: I don't own anything.**

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><p>Time went on and then the unexpected happened. Music producer Gustavo Rocque arrived in town, and we, in order to make James' dream come true, took him to the audition. Little did we know that our decision would alter our lives forever. He chose Kendall. But, of course, Kendall being Kendall agreed to go only on the condition that we all go with him. He was crazy. How did he ever think that my parents would ever let me go? The truth was that I actually wanted to go, I wanted to be free of my mom's wrath and I wanted to get away from our small town in Minnesota. I wanted to live my own life. So in a way, I was grateful that Kendall made the deal and even more grateful that Gustavo actually sealed the deal. But there was no way my parents would ever let me go. I was scared, but I had to ask if I ever wanted escape this hell hole. So, I stood in front of my mom's bedroom door and swayed back and forth on my feet, debating on whether or not I should miss out on a chance of a lifetime.<p>

Then, before I could lose the courage to do so, I pushed open the door. "Mom?" I called out only to find her sitting on the bed looking through a newspaper.

"Yeah, Logan?" she looks up smiling. It didn't make things much better, but at least she was in a good mood.

"I need to talk to you about something. Something I've been putting off," I admit. It was true, Gustavo had generously given us a week to think everything over and make preparations to leave. But that had been five days ago, today was Saturday and we were leaving in two days. I was going to hold my ground on this, I decided, I wasn't about to let my mom take this away from me. That would mean letting go of my brothers and I could never do that. "A few days ago," I pause, looking up at her blank expression, "A few days ago, the music producer Gustavo Rocque came to town and we went to his audition, and… he said he wanted Kendall, Carlos, James and me to go to L.A. with him," I lied, twisted the truth a bit. Gustavo _did_ want us all to come, but only because Kendall made him, but if I told my mom that he only wanted Kendall at first, there was no way she would ever let me go. In fact, the first thing she would tell me what a failure I was, achieving heights only because of my friends.

"But, you can't sing," she reasoned, "I bet a run over deer could do better than you." _Chuckle, chuckle._ Wow, that definitely hit a nerve. How could my own mother, the woman who gave birth to me say that? Wasn't it a mom's job to encourage her kids not put them down?

"I can sing," I tell her. It wasn't an entire lie either, I did enjoy singing and I have been in the school choir for over five years now, but I definitely didn't do it professionally as James did. What I meant was, _I can learn how to. _Anything to get away from here.

She chuckles, not a heartedly but somewhat evilly. "You're funny, Logan. No, not going to happen."

I knew that was what she would say. I was going to hold my ground, I, for once in my life, was going to get what I wanted. "Why not? This will be good for me."

"What part of becoming a singer is going to be good for you? You're going to just become like other trashy celebrities," she muttered not taking me seriously. But, I _was _serious. Did she really think so low of me? That I would let a town change me? That I would let other people influence me? I knew right from wrong.

"Is that how low you think of me?" I ask, hurt, "Why can't I go? It's going to help me get into medical school later in life."

I only said that to please her. I didn't even want to be a doctor in the first place, but the thought has grown on me. The thought of becoming a doctor didn't exactly intrigue me, but if it made my parents happy, I was willing to give it a shot.

"I don't know Logan… I need to talk this over with your father," I got to her with the medical school thought, I had doubted that she would be able to resist that.

"Okay, think about it, please. I really want to do this okay?"

"Yeah, Logan. We'll think about it."

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><p>"Logan, IF we let you go, you have to promise a few things," my dad says sternly.<p>

"Anything."

"You have to keep up your grades and don't let the town change you. Any of those things change and you're on the next flight back here, understood?" My mother asks. Grades. It was always the grades.

I nod eagerly. "So does this mean I can go?"

"Yeah, I guess you can," my father agrees, "We better start packing. We're going to miss you, son." My mom smiles a bit as my father speaks.

I nod and smile. "Thank you for letting me go, you're not going to regret it, I promise."

Then, before they can change their minds, I turn around and jog back upstairs. That was easy. Maybe a little too easy, but I shrugged it off, not thinking much of it. I was going to L.A. with my brothers and right now life can't get much better. I enter my room, pushing the door wide open to find my sister perched on my bed. I shut the door behind me and walk towards her.

Judging by the smile on my face, she immediately understood. "You're going to L.A.?" she asks softly.

"Yeah sweetie, I am." I go and sit down next to her, leaning against the headboard and pull her onto my lap.

"I'm surprised that they even agreed. I thought they would say no. They didn't let you sleep over at any of the guys' houses until you were fourteen."

"I know, well actually it was Mom who didn't, Dad wanted to let me, but who can change Mom's mind?" I chuckle humorlessly, playing with a few strands of her dark brown hair that was only slightly lighter than my own.

"You're right about that, no one can," she pauses, anxiously swaying in my lap. She wants to tell me something, something she's worried about. I don't want to press too much, I know she will tell me, she always does. "Logan? Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, ask me, Rach," I tell her.

She turns and looks at me with sad brown eyes. "Logan, what about me? You're not going to forget about me right? And what about Mom? What if she gets worse?" she asks, tears welling up in her eyes.

Suddenly I realize how young she really was, only ten, and seeing her in front of me crying, made me realize she really was so much younger than me. I guess it was because she was the person who understood me the most, the one person who could help me through everything because she was going through the same things as I was. I wish I could give her the life most ten year olds had, but I couldn't, the most I could do was make her life better. My heart ached. I was going to have to leave her behind. My baby sister, I would have to leave her, but I would get her back, I would make sure of it.

"No, sweetie, I can never forget about you. I love you so much. You have to promise me something though, okay? If anything gets worse here, you have to tell me, I'll come back and get you."

Though there are tears in her eyes, she smiles. "You know Mom will never let you take me away, you know that right?"

"I'll find a way. The day I turn eighteen, is the day I'm going to try to take you away from here. And besides, if I can get Dad to agree, Mom will be on board. Even she can't stand up to him."

"So I only have to stay here for a few months…. You promise to call me, right?"

"Everyday," I promise, kissing her forehead. She perks up a bit and leans in to hug me. My arms sling around her waist and I pull her as close as I can. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you, too, Logie. It won't be the same around here without you." While still in the embrace, I fall sideways onto the bed and we both fall asleep in each others' arms. At least we had this moment and we both had ever intention to spend it together.

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><p><strong>AN: This originally was supposed to be full of arguments and was supposed to really intense, but I'm saving it for later. There's going to be a lot of that. These last few chapters were kind of like background information so you have a feel for Logan's home life. I'm going to skip probably three months after this so it's final that they're staying in L.A. because that's when the guys' demo was passed, right? The real problems are going to start soon. For the next chapter I'm thinking of doing it from Rachel's point of view and then going from there with Logan. They're going to arrive in L.A. meet all the other characters and then all the problems will start coming in. Sound good?<strong>

**So please tell me how this was and... review?**


	5. Pretending

**Thank you for all the reviews and all the love. :) This whole chapter is told from Rachel's point of view. She's only ten so keep that in mind.  
><strong>

**AN: I don't own anything.**

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><p>I missed Logan. Every time I walked into his room, I hated to see that most of his things were gone. But, I went everyday, it was the closest I could get to Logan without actually calling him. We talked every night, his soft voice practically being a lifeline for me. I didn't have a cell phone, of course Mom being the cause, so it made it even more difficult for us to talk. Mom hadn't even spoken a word to him since he left, I asked her every night if she wanted to talk to him, but the answer was always "no". I knew Logan was hurt by this, he always hated when Mom was in that "in-between" stage where she wouldn't tell us if she was mad, and we never even found out if she ever was. Dad, on the other had began to work a little more than he had before. I guess he found no reason to spend time at home when one of his kids was states away. Sometimes it hurt, didn't he remember about me? I didn't see him much in the first place but I had always cherished every moment I spent with him, but now I saw him even less. But he did talk to Logan every now and then which I knew made Logan's day… most of the time.<p>

Mom got worse, just as Logan and I expected, but I didn't dare tell Logan. If I told him, then he would leave everything behind for me and I didn't want that. Those nights when Mom is worse than usual, I ask him to sing to me. I always knew he had a voice, but wow. L.A. has changed something inside him for the better. I could never get enough of his voice. Sometimes, the guys would join in, making the band complete. They were my brothers too, and I loved them, but I knew I could never talk to them like I could with Logan. It was that way with everyone but Logan. Sometimes I wondered if he knew anything was wrong, the sadness in my voice must be detectable, right? But I didn't want him to know, so I covered it up. But then there were times I wished that he _would_ realize how miserable I was, that he'd come back for me. I was being selfish, I knew, but I couldn't help but hope sometimes.

His voice was everything I looked forward to the whole day. I would stare at the phone for hours sometimes, waiting for his call. It would always come, just like he promised. The house phone was always tucked under my arm, I was terrified to set it down. What if I missed a call? Would he call back or would I have to wait another day? They brightened up my day. Sometimes I could hear the guys in the background yelling and laughing, it was something I missed the most about them. Their laughter. Our house was devoid of it now, besides my occasional giggle from the phone calls we had.

"Rachel!" my mom angrily called out. I groaned inwardly. What did I possibly do this time? This week had been terrible, I had the week off, and Mom was on a roll.

This was one of the times I missed Logan the most. If Logan was here, he would stand up to our mom and get her to change her mind. Even our mom, as cold-hearted as she was, liked having fun now and then. If he was here, we would be in the kitchen baking cookies while the guys chomped them down. There would be laughter. Our house wouldn't seem so empty anymore, it would be so much more livelier.

"Yeah, Mom?" I ask in an overly sweet voice.

"Why haven't you cleaned your room today?" I race up the stairs, worrying that if I took too long, that her anger would build up even more.

"I did, Mom," I tell her truthfully. There hadn't been much to clean anyways, a few books here and there and a few knick-knacks. I push open the door to my room.

"Then what the heck is this?" she spits out. I cringe at the harsh tone. She points to an old textbook near the window sill.

"Just a textbook, Mom," I tell her, crossing the room to pick it up.

"Not just a textbook, it's a good textbook. You can't let it lay around and treat it like crap, it's worth more than _you_." Tear spring to my eyes slowly but I close my eyes so that they don't escape. "Pick it up and start studying. You're not even smart, you should be studying 24/7."

"Okay, Mom," I whisper.

"What was that?" she shouts, "I can't hear you, you pathetic little girl!"

Wow, she might as well have slapped me across the face. "Yeah, Mom," I tell her, raising my voice.

_Ring, ring!_

"There's you damn brother again. Better make it quick, you've got studying to do."

I wanted to yell and scream at her because she said that. How could she even say that about her own child?

I rush down the steps, eager to answer the phone. I clear my voice, so he can't detect any sadness in it. My tears were gone, I had always been good at hiding them, and hearing my brother's voice would make everything better.

"Logan!" I shout into the phone.

"Hey, sweetie. What have you been up to?" he asks, chuckling. Oh sweet, sweet laughter.

"Nothing much. The usual. Studying, studying, and oh wait- studying," I answer.

His laughter stops. _No, Logan it was a joke! Keep laughing, I miss it. _"You know you can tell me anything, right? Rachel, if you want me to come back, I will."

"Logan, no. It's fine. Nothing's gotten worse," I lie.

"Are you sure? Because I'll come back for you. I'd do anything for you, you know that right?" he asks in a strained voice.

I could faintly hear James yelling at Carlos for something- something stupid probably, they were my brothers after all. "I know, but relax. I'm fine. Sing to me?" I ask. It wasn't night and I couldn't fall asleep, but something about his singing always calmed me down.

"You got it sweetie." I could almost imagine him smiling, skin crinkling at the corner of his eyes and his chocolate brown eyes shining.

"Here it goes," he whispers. I close my eyes and let his soft voice lull me.

_"Look into my eyes - you will see  
>What you mean to me<br>Search your heart - search your soul  
>And when you find me there you'll search no more<em>

_Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for_  
><em>You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for<em>  
><em>You know it's true<em>  
><em>Everything I do - I do it for you<em>

_Look into your heart - you will find_  
><em>There's nothin' there to hide<em>  
><em>Take me as I am - take my life<em>  
><em>I would give it all - I would sacrifice<em>

_Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for_  
><em>I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more<em>  
><em>Ya know it's true<em>  
><em>Everything I do - I do it for you<em>

_There's no love - like your love_  
><em>And no other - could give more love<em>  
><em>There's nowhere - unless you're there<em>  
><em>All the time - all the way<em>

_Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for_  
><em>I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more<em>  
><em>I would fight for you - I'd lie for you<em>  
><em>Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you<em>

_Ya know it's true_  
><em>Everything I do - I do it for you"<em>

Tear sprang to my eyes which I quickly wiped away. The song fit our relationship so well. It was usually meant for a girlfriend and boyfriend, but everything he sang, was so _true_.

"Thank you, Logan," I say quietly.

"You're welcome, Rach. Sleep tight. Love you."

I smile widely. At least _someone_ loved me. "Love you, too, big brother."

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><p><strong>AN: So how was that? I really liked the lyrics to the song. It's called "Everything I Do (I Do it For You). I didn't get the chance to listen to it because Youtube was acting funky, but I'll get around to it. So thank you for reading.<strong>

**Review?**


	6. The First Lie

**Can I start off with a very big I'M SORRY! I'm so sorry guys. What's it been, three/ four weeks? I'm so sorry. At first it was laziness and that turned into writer's block but it's all better now. So sorry, and I'll let you read on. This is the introduction to Camille and their "relationship". I hope this makes up for all those weeks.**

**AN: I don't own anything.**

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><p>It had been three months since I'd met the petite, crazy brunette. Camille. At first, she scared me. I mean, why shouldn't I have been scared? She came up to Kendall and slapped him across the face. On our first day. It kind of scared us that this what the rest of Hollywood could be like. I found myself avoiding her at all costs. I, as much as I hated admitting it, was the one in our group that was easily scared. I was constantly careful to not bump into her anywhere. She began to develop a strange crush on me. In some ways, it scared me but in even more ways, I was flattered. Most girls didn't like me for me. Some even took advantage of me but using me as a tutor or someone to cheat off of and others even used me to get close to my best friends. Not that they ever paid any attention to girls who were supposedly "mine". But, it was sweet. I found myself losing all my doubts that I had of her and began talking to her. I discovered how amazing she was. She understood me like no one else could, not even Rachel. We became friends, best friends. She soon became a part of out little circle of friends. It was James, Kendall, Carlos, Jo, her and me. It worked for us. We didn't need anyone else.<p>

I quickly found myself eagerly waiting for us to spend time together. I began to wonder if this is what friends even did. I never had close friends that were girls before but I didn't question it. I enjoyed spending time with her. Like I said before, she understood me. I found myself not being able to keep secrets from her like I could with the guys. I couldn't quite place my finger on why that was but I ignored it. I spilled to her about my messed up life at home, how my mother was so over protective and emotionally abusive and how my father barely had any time for me. I told her how I had to leave my sister behind and how miserable she was. Just like me. I told her how I hadn't even talked to my own mom in months and all the while, she didn't say a word. Instead, she just placed a hand on my shoulder and listened. It felt nice being able to spill anything and everything to someone who I'd come to trust so much in such a short time.

She didn't bring it up unless I did first. She never said anything and sometimes I worried that she would judge me but she never did such thing. Instead, I found myself becoming closer and closer to her than ever before. I loved that she never got scared and walked away. I loved that she stayed. I had feared that no one would when I told them. She gave me the courage, though she didn't say anything, to tell the guys. They listened but I found myself cutting out the important parts. I didn't want to scare them. I didn't want to make them worry. I loved them. So much. And that's why I couldn't tell them. They would take drastic measures and I soon discovered that because even with parts cut out, if their looks could kill, my parents would be long dead.

I began spending almost every minute that I wasn't in the studio singing, something I had come to love, and when I wasn't hanging out with my friends, I was spending the time with her. I began to notice the little things about her. Her little button nose, her sparkling chocolate brown eyes, her lopsided, signature smirk. I began to see the way she lit up every time I talked, something I still didn't understand to this day. I loved that she actually liked hanging out with me. I loved that she never got tired of me and never found me annoying. I loved her passion too. The passion that was always there- that never faded. She was always so enthusiastic but she was easily able to tone down for me when I needed it. I loved that. I didn't know for certain, but I think I was starting to fall for her.

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><p>My phone buzzed in my pocket. I nearly groaned, but caught myself quickly. I sent a sheepish smile towards Camille from across the small wooden table and slid my phone open.<p>

_Rachel _flashed across through the screen. I had saved my home phone number under Rachel's name though there was no need to. Every time we talked, I was the one who called her, not the other way around. Something was wrong. I didn't know what exactly that meant but something was definitely not right.

I press the talk button, look up helplessly at Camille and then bring my phone to my ear as I walk out of the pool area.

"Hello? Rach?" I whisper in a low voice as if I'm afraid someone will listen in on us.

"Logan," she gasps quietly, "Mom wants to talk to you."

As much as her voice contradicts my thoughts, I light up. Maybe my mom wants to tell me how much she misses me. I missed her so much. So much to the fact that I missed her yelling and that scared me a little bit.

I hear crumpling and hushed voices and then a few yells, courtesy of my mom of course. I assume Rachel's handed over the phone.

"Hello?" I ask, not sure if anyone's there.

"Shut up, Logan Mitchell. Do have any idea of how much trouble you are in?" my mom shouts over the phone. The funny thing was that _no_, I had absolutely _no_ idea. But knowing my mom, I knew it was going to be something stupid. But, that didn't mean I was growing more frightened by the second. I was such a wimp.

"No," I squeak. My cheeks heat up and I move to a corner where no one in the lobby is paying attention to.

"You got a _B_? On a test? We had an agreement Logan, you have to keep your grades up otherwise you're on the next flight back to Minnesota. Understand?"

"-," Before I even get the chance to speak again, she cuts me off.

"How can you be so stupid? How did I raise such a stupid so? You're lucky Rachel's around right now otherwise you'd be hearing much worse. I'll be sending textbooks to L.A. and I expect you to finish every one of them, am I understood?"

"Yes." Tears gather in my eyes. I feel like such a baby, but what can I do? Stupid perfection. How could I be perfect? How could I change myself to be perfect? I was never going to be good enough. I was never going to be her "perfect" son.

"I knew it was a mistake sending you out to L.A. like that. What was I thinking? You're not good at anything. I don't even know how you're my son." With that she shoves the phone in Rachel's hands and storms off. I can hear it.

"Logan?" my sister's soft and caring voice calls out, but I'm lost in my own world.

Was I useless? Was everyone just putting up with me just because they had to? Was I talentless? Did I have nothing to live for? Ha. My own mother didn't even want me, she just wanted a perfect son to brag about.

"Logan!" she yells, "Are you there?"

"Yeah," my voice cracks but I'm quick to cover it up, "I'm here baby sister."

"Don't- don't listen to Mom, okay? She doesn't know what she's talking about. You're amazing, big brother. Don't let anyone tell you anything else- any parent would be lucky to have you as a son."

I didn't want to talk anymore. I didn't want Rachel to hear me upset. "I gotta go, Rach. Talk to you tonight. Love you."

Rachel sighs through the phone line. "Love you too. Just don't take any of what Mom said to heart. She's just mad."

I shut my phone off and close my eyes, taking deep breaths in order to keep the tears in. My stomach was churning and I had a sinking feeling but I wasn't going to show it. I hastily reach up to wipe away any stray tears and a place a small but slightly wobbly on my face.

Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder. "You walked out so suddenly. I was just wondering if you were alright," Camille says, squeezing my shoulder as if she knew what happened. But, I was going to deny it. There was no point in worrying her anymore than I had already.

"I'm fine," I lie through my teeth, placing a more believable smile on my face.

"Are you sure?" she asks in a gentle voice. "You know you can tell me, right?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Don't worry about it." I smile, grabbing her hand and walk back to the pool with her in tow. Little did I know one lie would lead to so many more.

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><p><strong>AN: Logan's starting to lie... This is the introduction to not only Camille and Logan's relationship but also to Logan's problems. Things are going to start picking up from here. <strong>

**Oh and I didn't say this for this story yet well because I didn't update but... I got a twitter a few weeks back. I'm: lovesintheair57**

**Follow me and I'll follow back.**

**So... review?**


	7. Birthday Surprises

**Thank you guys for being so patient with this story and I hope you all have had an amazing holiday and I hope you all have a wonderful New Years. I'm excited for this chapter... Thank you so much for all the review, alerts and favorites. I'm so conscious about this story so all those things mean everything to me. Thank you so much. **

**AN: No, I do not own Big Time Rush even though I wish I did. I do however, own this plot but that's enough for me... for now.**

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><p>"Send her to L.A. I'll even pay for her ticket. I just want her here with me. I haven't seen Rachel in months, Dad. Just please," I plead to my dad. If anything, I could convince him and get him to convince mom. If mom had a weakness, it was her unreasonable fear of dad. I didn't understand it. They had an arranged marriage and while they eventually fell in love at one time, they clearly drifted apart; living more like acquaintances than anything else, but dad was the caring, calm one. Honestly, dad should be the one afraid of mom instead of the other way around.<p>

"Logan, son. You know how your mother is. I don't think she'll allow it." I can hear him sigh on the other line.

"Dad, please. Talk to her and convince her. You're the one person she'll ever listen to. She never allows anything but you convince her most of the time."

"I'll do my best. I know she doesn't want her daughter flying halfway across the country but then again, you managed to convince her to live in L.A. Maybe she'll let Rachel visit, I don't know for sure though. Happy birthday, Logan. Make the best of it." I hear him hang up on the other line before hanging up myself. I slide my phone back into my pocket. I run my hand over my face. I was tired and I was frustrated but I didn't really care at this point. All I could think about at this point was the possibility of Rachel coming to visit me. Yes, she would only come for about a month but that didn't matter. All that mattered was that she might be coming.

Rachel. My little sister, my baby sister, Rachel. I would finally see her innocent little face again after months. That is, if she came. I didn't need to focus on that though. I could only imagine her small body jumping everywhere in 2J, her hair that was only a bit lighter than my own bouncing against her shoulders and her bright eyes shining with happiness. I could imagine waking up with her snuggled up close to my side. I could imagine her spending time with me; I would show her everything there was to see in California.

I would sing her to sleep again. I would always be there for her and she would be here for me. Most of all though, we would be away from Mom and her "wrath" for at least a month. Sure, she would call us and insult us, but then we'd have each other and with Rachel and I together, we were invincible.

A large smile spread across my face. I probably looked stupid, standing in the middle of the kitchen and smiling like an idiot, but I didn't care.

"Hey man, why are you smiling so… creepily?" James asks me, taking a bottle of water from the fridge for himself and then tossing me one as well.

"Guess what? Rachel might be coming!" I shout excitedly, practically jumping up and down.

"Really? Wait a minute- why maybe? She should definitely come... It's not because of your mom is it?" he asks, softening his tone.

Out all of the guys, James was probably the one that understood my situation at home the most. Don't get me wrong, I love all of them the same, they're my brothers, but for some reason, James was the one who understood what I was going through the most. He didn't know much of what was going on- only that my mother was unreasonable, but he understood when I talked to him. His parents divorced when he was young and his dad married someone fifteen years younger. His father was like mine, he was afraid of his own wife. His mother, though she loved him, was controlling and adamant about everything. Our similar home always made it easier for us to have heart to heart conversations.

Carlos and Kendall. Carlos had the family I had always wished for. Happily married parents, a house full of siblings and even a few pets. Kendall's dad had passed away, and while it brought grief to the entire family, he was still left with his mother who everyone loved and was incredibly sweet as well as Katie.

"My mom is probably going to be complicated again. I don't know. I hope she says yes. I talked to my dad because my mom usually doesn't refuse him."

He nods understanding. "Okay, but let's not think about that right now. The guys and I have a little surprise for you since it's your birthday so close your eyes," he instructs. I reluctantly close my eyes and let him guide me wherever he wanted me to go.

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><p>"Guys, thanks for today. I had fun. I can't even remember the last time we played hockey- it's been way too long. Between work, concerts and school we haven't had any time." I look at them and gather them up in a group hug. Then I leaned back into the orange sofa and sip my hot chocolate.<p>

"Logan, you turned eighteen today, that's calls for celebration. We're sorry that we couldn't do more though because you deserve so much more. It's just that we've been so busy and…" James trails off, glancing at me with a sheepish grin.

I blink back the tears that form in my eyes. I didn't want them to think I was a sap. Truth was though, that was just about the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. I had to stop myself from attacking them with a bone- crushing hug. "Guys, no. Don't think that. This was the best thing anyone's ever done for me. Thank you."

Kendall leans back into the sofa as well, ruffling my hair before sipping his own hot cocoa. "But man, you were _amazing_ out there on the ice. You were always good but wow, when did you get so _amazing_?" Kendall chuckles.

I always hated feeling pride in myself. It was something that when I felt it, it felt like I was being full of myself and that everyone else would hate me because I wasn't as great as I was thinking at that time in place, but today my pride was something no one could tear down. For one, mom wasn't there to nag me and yell at me for not trying harder and second, because I tried my hardest. It didn't really matter- it was just a game but that game to me was everything. Everything that I had bottled up inside of me for months, I took it out on every move that I took on the ice. Every swerve, hit, goal, push, shove… was one little piece out of a million that was taken out on my mother. I thought of the pressure and everything came naturally. I had to admit, I liked it and I regretted not going to the rink earlier. It would've helped.

Nevertheless, I blushed and grabbed the back of my neck and rubbed it. "Thanks, Kendall."

Carlos, being his usual self, scoots closer to me and pokes my side. "C'mon smile, you know you want to." He continues poking my sides until I let out an embarrassing giggle, but pretty soon, our little "poking" fight turns into a tickle fight and all four of us are rolling on the ground laughing.

Tears of laughter prick our eyes yet we continue laughing. I can't even remember the last time I was so happy. Thank God I was so blessed to have such amazing best friends.

"Ahem." I look up to find Mrs. Knight standing in the doorway, a wide smile spread across her face. "Oh boys. You're all something alright."

She walks over and drop a kiss on each of our forehead. "Happy birthday, Logan," she whispers before looking at all of us, "Go to bed soon, okay boys? I don't want you to be tired at work tomorrow."

At least _she_ remembered my birthday even my own mother didn't even bother to give me a call to wish me "happy birthday". I couldn't help but think what my life would've been like if my mom had been like Mrs. Knight or better yet, if Mrs. Knight was my mom. She gave me all the love that my mother couldn't even give me in entire lifetime. Was it bad to think that I loved her more than I loved my own mother? I could only imagine how nice it would be to wake up to a mother who actually _cared _and didn't yell at me for every little thing.

"Hey, man, are you okay?" Kendall asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've never been better." I shoot him a smile.

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

I look down and pull out my phone. Rachel flashed across the screen. Why was she calling me again? I was supposed to call her. She never did this unless something was wrong- was something wrong? Every feeling of happiness drained away instantly and the sinking feeling that I hated so much came back. I slid my phone open and with my trembling hand I brought it to my ear as I walked to the other room.

"Hey, Rach. What's- what's wrong?" I ask hesitantly. "What d- did mom say?"

"She said no… at first," she whispers and I immediately know that mom's somewhere around.

A glimmer of hope grew inside of me. "At first? What did she say after?"

"Well, she kind of threw a tantrum and our house is a mess right now but you know how mom can't say no to dad. So guess what, Logan? I'm coming to L.A.!" she squeals softly and every piece of happiness that I felt before came flooding back but this time, it grew even more.

"Awesome," I whisper, "I can't wait, sweetie. I need to see you again."

"I need to see you too, Logan. I love you and I'll talk to you soon. Good night."

"Love you, too."

As soon as I hung up the phone, I couldn't help but think this was the best birthday I'd ever had. And it truly was.

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><p><strong>AN: I hope you liked this. Things are really going to start picking up from this point. The next chapter and possibly the next few are not going to seem like it but they will be some sort of set up chapters. The climax of this story will be coming up soon hopefully. <strong>

**I hope all of you have a wonderful New Year's full of peace, love and happiness and that you have a great break (if you have one).**

**So... review?**


	8. Reuniting

**Sorry for making you all wait so long again. I've been in a fluffy mood all weekend so I have fluff for you. This is kind of another filler but next chapter won't be, I promise. **

**AN: I wish I owned BTR, but I do not. I do however, own the plot. Oh! And I don't own LAX either.**

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><p>I hopped down the stairs quickly, annoyed that the person outside was continuously ringing the doorbell especially when I was asleep. I mean seriously? If Carlos, James and Kendall weren't my best friends, I would go and yell at them for being too lazy to open the door.<p>

I rub the sleep out of my eyes and smooth out my gel free hair as I approach the door and swing it open without even bothering to look into the peep hole to see who it was.

"Wha-," I begin to say but cut myself off once I see who it is. It was Camille. I couldn't help but smile. She just had that kind of effect on me.

"Nice to see you too, Logan," Camille chuckles. Oh how I loved that sound. It was so contagious that I couldn't help but laugh along with her. I give her a hug and gesture her in. "No thanks, Logan. I just came by to say hi."

"Well hi," I say, smiling. I lean against the door frame as I talk to her.

She smiles back brightly. "I came to tell you something, too. Did you know there was a little girl looking for you in the lobby?"

I look at her confusedly. "There was?"

"Yeah, there was but don't worry about it right now! Close your eyes- I have a surprise for you!" Camille orders.

I look at her teasingly and purse my lips together. "Mmh, no. I don't want to." I smirk as she gasps playfully.

"Logan Mitchell! Please," she pleads jokingly, looking at me with a puppy dog eyes. She nudges my arm, batting her long eyelashes. "_Please._"

"You know I can't say no to you, Cami." I close my eyes, wondering what Camille had in store. I can hear her whispering but I don't say anything.

"Okay, now open your eyes!" she squeals.

Slowly, I open my eyes, hoping that whatever it was, wasn't too dangerous. You never know with Camille but that's what I lo- liked about her.

I look at her again, but this time she wasn't alone. There in front of her was a small girl, about ten years old, with dark hair going past her shoulders and her chocolate brown eyes. _Rachel. _It was Rachel. She was here. But how? That didn't matter right now- all that mattered was that she was here. I looked back up at Camille who had slung an arm around Rachel's shoulder. She was grinning. She had known.

My eyes wander back to Rachel. My hand hovers over my mouth as I break out into a huge smile. I hold out my arms and she immediately runs into them. I hold her close, almost as if she'd disappear if I let go. I drop a kiss on her head and bury my nose into her dark locks as I bend down to hold her. She was here. She was really here. My little baby was here and no one, not even mom could take her away from me now. A few tears prick the corners of my eyes but for the first time, they're of happiness rather than sadness.

I pick Rachel up, spinning her around until we both laugh. I set her down and drop another kiss on her head before I let go and go to Camille.

Again, I lean against the door frame, motioning her in. This time however, she steps inside.

"You knew," I state simply. It wasn't a question, it was obvious she knew that Rachel would be there.

She smiles, "Yeah, I did. You know, you don't do a very good job of taking care of your phone. You leave it either in my apartment or the lobby all the time. It wasn't that hard for me to use it to find your house number and call Rachel. I'm a sneaky girl," she says, wiggling her fingers.

I grin and tease her, "So did you get her here two weeks earlier too or is that someone else's master plan?" I poke her sides, making her laugh.

"Oh please, no one else around here except for Katie has master plans that good. I called her and told her to tell your dad to book an earlier ticket. He didn't book it at that time so it wasn't like I was asking for too much. So this morning I drove out to LAX and picked her up. See? It was simple as that."

I couldn't help myself so before I can stop myself from doing so, I engulf her into a tight embrace. "Thank you, Camille. This is the best surprise ever." My worries cease as I feel her squeeze back.

"You're welcome, Logan. If anything, you and Rachel both deserve it." She smiles at me warmly as we part.

I didn't know what I ever did to deserve someone like Camille in my life. She made everything better even though I felt down. She was always there for me and now this? It was almost overwhelming. No one had ever done anything like this for me before, not that I was complaining. I was so lucky. She done the near impossible and gotten my little sister out here when I feared she wouldn't be able to come out here at all. Whatever I did to deserve her was worth it, because simply the sight of her always brightened my day.

"So… what do you want to do?" I ask her, hoping she'd stick around.

"I'm sorry, Logan. I wish I could stay but I really have to get to an audition, but maybe the three of us could do something later, okay?"

My once saddened expression immediately brightens. "Okay, sounds great!"

"Bye, Logan. It was nice meeting you, Rachel." She waves as she turns on her heels as she leaves with a script in hand.

I turn to Rachel again and wrap my arms around her once again. I sit down on the bright orange couch, rocking her back and forth.

"Your girlfriend's really cool, Logie. She really cares about you," she murmurs against the crook of my shoulder.

I freeze. "Girlfriend? She's not my girlfriend, Rach. We're just really good friends- best friends even but not boyfriend and girlfriend." I chuckle nervously as she pulls back.

"Really? I just assumed… Sorry."

I laugh. "It's okay, sweetie. You didn't know."

She looks at me skeptically, "You like her," she states. It wasn't a question but a statement. "You guys were constantly flirting with each other and being all lovey dovey. You guys are cute together."

I blush unintentionally. I couldn't lie to my baby sister like that. I was falling for Camille, even I had to admit that and as for flirting, it came naturally. We didn't mean to flirt… right? We were just teasing each other like best friends would… right?

"Maybe a little," I grin sheepishly, "She'd never like me back. We weren't even flirting anyways."

"Logan, you may be smart when it comes to books but when it comes to everything else, you're really oblivious. She likes you, Logie. Even I can see it and I'm ten. You should talk to her."

I tickle her sides. "Since when have you been my love counselor?" I tease, continuing to get small giggles from her. I've missed that sound. I've missed her. "So what do you want to do today, Rach? We can do anything you want."

She tilts her head as she thinks and then grins, taking my wrist and dragging me upstairs.

"This is just about the coolest apartment I've ever seen, Logan. I'm never going to be home sick here." She laughs, running down the long hallway to look at all the rooms.

I laugh along with her. I had missed just messing around with her. "C'mere into my room, Rach." I open the door to mine and Kendall's shared room and flop down on the bed as she seats herself next to me.

"I'm serious, this apartment is so amazing." She sighs, sitting up straighter as she admires the room.

I watch her in amusement. I had missed her more than anything these past few months. The last time I saw her was in Minnesota. It was a relief to get away from Minnesota yet it was terrifying at the same time. I didn't want to wake up to my mom's wrath everyday yet I didn't want to leave Rachel behind. Besides the guys, their families and possibly my dad, Rachel was the only person who meant everything to me. To have known that I would've been leaving Rachel behind in that- that... _hell_ was an overbearing thought for me. But now I had her back all to myself with everyone who truly loved me around us and that was truly the best feeling in the world.

That didn't mean I didn't worry. I had worried everyday for Rachel these past few months. I had worried that things would've gotten worse. I knew Rachel, she would never tell me, she would never want to take me away from happiness even if it meant that she would have to suffer. She was only ten but she was wiser than most people and sometimes that scared me. I was supposed to protect her and everyday I worried that I'd failed to do so.

"Hey, sweetie, can I ask you something? I want you to be completely honest with me okay?" I asks nervously. I wanted what I was thinking to be just that. A thought. I didn't want it to be real. I didn't want to know that Rachel suffered even more since I left. I didn't want to know that our mom had ruined Rach's day every single day.

She nods, a wide smile spread across her face. She obviously didn't know what I was about to ask her. "Of course, Logan."

"Did- did mom get worse?" I ask.

Her smile immediately falters. "No." She turns her head away so that she's not looking at me anymore.

"Hey," I grab her chin and force her to look at me in the eyes. "Did mom get worse? Please, I need you to answer me honestly, Rach. I know you're lying."

"Y-yes," she says, tiny tears beginning to form in her eyes. Some slip from her chocolate brown eyes that matched my own and fell down her pale cheeks.

My heart broke to see her that way. I could have stopped that from happening but I didn't. In some way, this was all my fault. Little did I know, this wasn't even the beginning.

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><p><strong>AN: Hope you all enjoyed. I really liked all that Lomille teasing... it was fun to write. Slight cliffhanger? Maybe. The next chapter will pick up where I left off. Love you guys.<strong>

**Just so you know, the BTR Awards 2012 have started up and are currently accepting nominations so go nominate your favorite stories!**

**So... review?**


	9. Unbreakable

**Sorry for the wait guys and this chapter isn't even that long. Sorry about that. For some reason, I struggle with writing longer chapters but as soon as the conflict actually starts up, I promise that they'll be much longer. Okay, I won't keep you from reading this any longer. Hope you enjoy. :)**

**AN: I don't own anything but the plot and Rachel.**

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><p>"Baby, please tell me what happened. Please," I say, holding her close.<p>

She shakes her head. "No, Logan. I don't want to bother you. Forget I even said anything." She tries to scramble off my lap but I manage to hold her and bring her back to me.

I cup her face in my hand, my thumbs slowly erasing her tears. "Sweetie, stop saying that. You're not going to bother me if you tell me. I promise."

She nods but still looks at me, her eyes full of doubt. "Okay," she whispers quietly, "Where do you want me to start?" She chuckles to herself humorlessly, her eyes almost looking away. My heart almost sinks at the sound of it. "Mom became so… _touchy_. She always started yelling me for the littlest things. I hated it and I still hate it. Like one time I left a textbook on my desk and she yelled at me and told me that the textbook was worth more than me."

The nerve of my mom. How could she be so cruel? Did she have a heart or was she made of stone? Why was she like this?

"Oh, sweetie. You know that's not true, right? You know that you're worth more to me than anything else in the world, right? Honey… why didn't you tell me that she got worse? I would have come back for you."

I touch her cheek, silently wishing that she'd told me. I had promised to protect her on the day she was born and I had failed to do so. As her big brother, I should have known that something was wrong and yet I didn't. I felt like a horrible brother.

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you, Logan. I didn't _want_ you to give up the life you were living for me. I didn't _want_ you to drop everything you had here and come back to terrible life you had back at home. I didn't want that. I _wanted_ you to be happy even if it meant that I wasn't. When you love someone, Logan, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for them," she whispers, hugging me.

I hug back tightly. My drifts off and I can't help but realize that I couldn't remember the last time I actually saw Rachel act like a kid. She was always so mature- so wise, that it made me forget how old she really was. It made me wonder how she even thought of all this. It made me wonder when she became so mature.

"Thank you… I guess. Even though I still wish you had told me, I understand why you didn't. I love you, Rach. Don't ever forget that." I hug her tighter as she continues sitting on my lap and I gently rock her as I kiss her hair.

"I know, Logie. I love you too," she whispers, pausing. "You know what? I wish Dad was around more. I miss him and ever since you left, he started working even more. Maybe if he was around, Mom would go easier on us."

"I miss him too, but he loves us, you know that right?" I ask, holding her chin. I stare into her chocolate brown eyes that matched my own. She was so tiny, so innocent yet our mom had managed to destroy a great part of that innocence she had.

She looks at me hesitantly, cocking her head to the side, "Does he really? It doesn't feel like it sometimes. If he did then why doesn't he ever spend time with us anymore? And mom doesn't either- doesn't she love us?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. How was I supposed to tell a ten year old that I wasn't sure if her mommy- the woman who gave birth to her- loved her or not? How could I explain to my baby sister why our parents never spent time with us anymore when I wasn't even sure of the answer myself?

I really didn't want to deal with this. I wish that our lives weren't so complicated. I wish that I could fill all the void of love we've had in our lives. I wish that I could keep Rachel with me forever and forget about our past.

"I don't know, Rach. I really don't know." I say, kissing her forehead.

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><p>"Rachel!" Kendall, Carlos and James cry out simultaneously, attacking her in huge bear hugs. "We missed you!"<p>

"I… missed… you… guys… too," Rachel chokes out.

"Guys, let her go. She can't breathe," Katie smiles as the boys release her and she goes in to hug Rachel for herself.

I sit on the arm of the couch and smile at the reunion. I was so blessed to have my brothers and sisters and I would never trade them for anything in the world.

"We should do something. Together. Just like we did back in Minnesota," Carlos says happily.

Agreeing to go to the pool, we all gather our swim supplies and head down. It was a simple way to spend time together but it was more special to all of us than anyone could imagine. We were free in L.A. and there was no one here to ruin the next weeks for us. We had each other now and all six of us were going to make the best of it and spend every minute with each other, and no one could stop us from doing so. Not even Mom. Because, together we were strong and no one could break us. We were unbreakable.

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><p><strong>AN: Are they really unbreakable like Logan is thinking? I'm going to leave you off on that because everything is not as it seems. Do I have you guys curious? Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter. And oh! Don't forget to watch Big Time Move tonight if you live in the states!<strong>

**So... review? **


	10. The Second Lie

**AN: Hey guys. I'm really, really sorry that I haven't updated in over three weeks. The only explanation that I have is writer's block. I was really stuck on this story for a really long time but thank you to those who helped me out, you know who you are. I won't keep you much longer so read on and enjoy. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

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><p>Weeks passed by and Rachel and I never left each other's side. It was strange- we weren't like that in Minnesota but I guess our time apart made us afraid that we would be separated again. Besides, we knew we only had so much time together left and so we tried to make the most of it. I took her everywhere, the pool, the studio, everywhere. The one thing she loved the most was watching us sing. I never really understood why... I was never a singer in the first place yet she adored my voice. It was quite flattering, really.<p>

But then some things started to change in little ways. First it was just me. I tried my hardest not to think about her leaving and returning to that hell hole again yet I found myself not only thinking about it, but crying about it too. Guys weren't supposed to cry, or at least normal guys weren't supposed to but since when have I been "normal"? But compared to what happened next, my snippets of thoughts were nothing. Mom started sending me little things. Most of the time they were insults or things that would undermine me and at first they were easy to ignore. As soon as it flashed across my phone, I would immediately delete it. It was that easy... at first. Then it got worse. Sometimes it would be a call or a text or an email but no matter what it was always about what a failure I was. It was always about how I didn't deserve anything and to say the least, that hurt. But I didn't dare tell anyone. Why would bother them with my problems? Sure, the messages hurt and frustrated me but that was exactly the reason as to why I couldn't tell anyone.

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><p>"Guys, that was amazing!" Rachel coos, skipping ahead as we leave Rocque Records.<p>

"Thanks, Rach," Carlos beams, ruffling her dark brown locks.

"Did I ever tell you guys how much I love watching you sing? You're awesome at it!" she exclaims, spinning around in a circle before grinning at us.

"You bet we are," James says, looking at his reflection in the mirror while running his lucky comb through his flawless brunette locks.

"Conceited much?" Rachel teases, poking his side.

He shrieks, chuckling soon after. "Oh no you don't!"

He grabs Rachel, spinning her up around him and throwing her on his back. "James, stop it!" she squeals, giggling along with him. She wraps her small arms securely around his neck as she holds on and wraps her legs her legs around his torso.

I laugh at the scene until I jolt forward when I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I want to ignore it and forget it ever buzzed in the first place but the intent looks that Kendall, Carlos and even James despite the fact that Rachel is on his back in a fit of giggles, are giving me tell me that they're expecting me to pick it up. I'm dreading every moment that's passing by. I know that I always give away the fact that I'm upset by the way my face contorts and I know the guys have known me long enough to know when I'm upset.

I bite my bottom lip hard in hopes that the pain will distract me because I know it's my mom who has texted me. I pull it out slowly, closing me eyes. Suddenly, it gets hard to breathe though I don't know why. This wasn't the first time but maybe I was freaking out because the guys and Rachel were around me.

I knew James was the first to notice. The past few days he had gotten better at reading me than I intended. He knew something had been bugging me and I know it was killing him not to know. He falls back in his step, easily handing Rachel over to Kendall before placing a hand on my shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asks softly so that no one else hears.

I absentmindedly scroll through the list of texts all from my mom, conflicted on whether or not I should show him. I purse my lips together and shake my head, ridding myself of all the thoughts that were swarming in my head before shutting off the phone. _I should be able to handle it by myself,_ I thought, _there's no reason to burden everyone_.

But just as I'm about to put away my phone, James grabs my wrist, twisting it to him and taking the phone out of my strong yet weak grip compared to his. "Logan, I know it's not nothing. You can either tell me or leave me no choice but to look through your phone."

He holds it away from me, so that even if I try, I wouldn't be able to get it.

I bite the inside of my cheek. I really, really didn't want to tell him and I especially didn't want him to look through my phone. I should have thought this through more. I look up to meet his eyes and I know he's waiting. What could I say? He already knew too much, all of them already knew too much.

"Logan," he quietly whispers, "You've been acting different lately and I've noticed that your phone's been the cause of it. Please, let me help you. I don't want to invade your privacy but I will if you won't tell me what's up."

Though I know my efforts will prove to be futile, I still try to grab my phone out of his hands. "James, give it back," I say sternly but he just chuckles.

"Will you tell me then?" he asks with knowing eyes. It surprised me how quickly he could become serious when he knew something was wrong.

I cast my eyes downwards, avoiding his. "Will you let this go?" I shoot back, standing my ground.

"No," he smirks.

"Please?" I plead, hoping that my puppy dog eyes will come through the one time I need them the most. I stick my bottom lip out, making it quiver, and I know he's resisting. I know he's trying hard not to give in.

"No," he says, struggling.

Sighing, reach over and somehow open up my phone to my texts while it's still in James' hands. There was no way of getting out of this- James was going to win and I knew it fairly well.

His eyes quickly skim through the texts, reading nearly each one. I watch as his expression change with each one as it gets worse. He licks his lips out of nervousness and shock. "Logan," he gasps, "Buddy..." He places a hand on my shoulder and gathers me into a hug. My cheek presses against his chest and I can feel his hand in my tussled brown tresses. I realized that we had stopped walking. Kendall, Carlos and Rachel were ahead of us but right now, I didn't care. This was... nice. I closed my eyes into the hug, relaxing into it.

"You should have said something, Logie. You can't deal with something like this by yourself. You just can't," James says, not even bothering to lower his voice. It wouldn't have mattered anyway because everyone else was so far ahead and they still hadn't noticed our absence.

"I couldn't do that to you guys," I murmur, finally parting from him. We stalk off the sidewalk and enter the coffee shop nearby. There was no point in getting in everyone's way like we were. We slide into a booth, ordering coffee before settling back into the conversation.

"Couldn't do what, Logan?' he asks.

"I couldn't- you guys already knew too much to begin with- I didn't want to burden you even more," I mutter, slouching back into the booth and taking a sip of the hot coffee.

"Buddy, I don't understand how you think that you will ever burden us. Logan, no, please don't think that. We're brothers and what your mom has been saying is unacceptable. Logan... you can't take this so lightly," James sighs, pushing his hands into his face before looking at me longingly, "I know that you didn't want anyone to know in the first place but..."

"But you want me to do something about it," I finish.

"Right."

We're quiet for a moment before I break the silence, "I-I can't. I'm too much of a coward."

"Listen to me," he tells me sternly, "You're one of the strongest, most courageous people I know. You can't go through that all your life and still say that you're a coward."

"Maybe so but I've never stood up against anyone like that before."

"It doesn't matter," he insists.

Then silence falls over us besides the sipping of our coffees. "You let things go so easily. You're too forgiving, you know that Logan?"

"Not always. I haven't exactly let this go."

"Well you aren't exactly holding a grudge right now, are you?" James asks, raising his voice. I knew he was getting mad not at me but my mom. He lowers his voice, realizing that he's drawing attention. "You let people walk over you and treat you like crap yet at the end of the day, you're always forgiving them. Why? Why do you let your mom do that to you?"

I shrug my shoulders. The truth was, I didn't know. I didn't know why I let her do that to me. I didn't know why I forgave everyone despite the fact that they didn't deserve to be forgiven.

"All of these texts... they're horrible. No one should treat their own kid like that," James says. Then the look on his face tells me something has clicked for him, it tells me that he's come to a realization. "Oh my God, Rachel. She treats Rach like that everyday and you too of course... Oh gosh," James gaps, frantically running his hands through his brunette locks, "I knew it was bad but you never- I never knew it was _this_ bad."

I place a hand on his arm, trying to calm him down. I had never seen James so worked up before and frankly I was getting a bit scared. "Calm down, Rach and I always have each other and that's what makes it okay," I tell him.

"See there you go again thinking that everything is just fine and dandy when it's not!" he shouts.

I can't help but chuckle a bit. "Fine and dandy? That doesn't sound right coming from your mouth."

"That's not the point, Logan! Don't you see how messed up this is?" James yells. He's drawing attention and he knows it. He was serious and the last time I'd seen him like this besides when I completely spilled to him and the guys a few weeks ago was when his parents got divorced.

I can't pinpoint why but a small ball of anger boils inside of me. "You don't think I know? Of course I do but I have to look at the good things in life because I know there are so many kids out there who have it so much worse than me."

"I know but Logan that doesn't make what's happening to you any better or fair even," he softens his tone, "I don't want it to get so bad that..." he struggles.

"You don't need to say it," I whisper softly, casting my eyes towards him as the anger inside fades away.

James sighs out of relief. "Loges," he begins, hesitating, "You know that none of what she's saying is true, right?"

I know I should tell him the truth but instead, I simply nod my head because it would be the easiest thing to do right? I couldn't tell him the truth so I took the easy way out. And that was the second lie.

There was no way I was going to tell James or any of the guys for that matter that I was starting to believe what my mom has been saying. I couldn't admit to them that I was beginning to doubt my own worth.

"Good," he murmurs, finally calming down before drinking his coffee, "Don't think differently." He sets his cup of coffee down and slides out of his booth and into mine. He gathers me into a hug and suddenly I feel small next to him. But for some reason, I don't mind. I was beginning to realize how much I needed someone's comfort. I needed someone to know all this and still be able to tell me that everything was going to be alright. Though James didn't know everything per say, he was being there for me right now and I couldn't ask for anything more.

Then in the tiniest voice I've ever heard coming from him, he asks, "Rach's going to have to go back... we can't let that happen. I- we're going to do everything in our power to stop them from taking her away."

"James-," I protest. I wanted to keep Rachel with me, I did, but he didn't know my parents or my mom for that matter, as much as I did. He was beginning to know more but he was never going to fully understand what they're like. "I know my mom won't let me."

"Who cares? We'll handle this legally if we have to. My mom knows about this kind of stuff and we could even ask for her help," James reasons.

"We'll see," I finish. "I don't think we should but we'll see. My parents will always be my parents no matter what and I don't want to do that to them.

I would never have thought that James Diamond would take something so seriously to the point that he would want to take something like this to court. I had known him for the majority of my life yet in all these years, I had never seen this side to him. Some people just don't give him enough credit...

He drops the subject though I know he wants to talk about it more. I don't say anything about it anymore and nor does he. It wasn't something to consider right now, it was something to think about later.

Then it's quiet again for a few brief moments. The tension of the fact that he's willing to take this to court when I have never even considered the idea and would never have if it weren't for him eases. I didn't have that kind of courage to stand up and testify but I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and continued to sip my coffee. _You don't need to worry about it right now,_ I tell myself.

"So...?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"So what?"

"Is this just between the two of us or is anyone else going to know too?"

I pondered before shaking my head. "No, just the two of us." I smile at him before grabbing my phone and quickly texting Kendall that we would meet up them in 2J before he started to panic.

"Okay," James whispers, "I won't push anymore right now."

I felt relieved that he let it go for now. I didn't want to overdo it. I knew that things weren't just going to stay between the two of us. I knew that eventually Kendall and Carlos would find out as would Camille and Rachel but I didn't want to burden them before necessary. I had everything under control right now and now I had James if I ever needed to talk. But the reasonable Logan in the back of my head was telling me that I needed to get help from an adult or an authority figure before this got any worse and spiraled out of my control. I had already told my second lie yet a part of me keeps telling me that it won't be my last if I don't do something soon.

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><p><strong>AN: I really hope this came out okay. I have several possible paths in my head right now as to where I can take this story but it's clearing up as I write more chapters. For some reason I found this chapter to be different... I really don't know why. Regardless, I stupidly decided to write this entire story with one point of view, that being Logan's. I know what I'm getting myself into and trust me, it's hard sometimes to see into a guy's head when you're a girl. Eh, what do you think? I'm rambling aren't I?<strong>

**So... review?**


	11. Advice

**AN: This week's been... crazy. And next week is going to be even crazier. Sorry about that but I'm trying to concentrate on this story. I kinda lost my USB so I had a lot of issues with that including rewriting entire essays... But now I found it! So now a ton of my time has just been saved since I no longer have to transfer tons of files. Sorry about the shortness of this chapter too. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and the characters that I have created.**

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><p>"James told me that I'd find you here," Camille calls just loud enough for me to hear.<p>

I whip around, the corners of my lips turning upwards. "What are you doing here?"

"James told me to give you some time but I got a little impatient after five minutes so I just came up here," she giggles, "I hope you don't mind."

I laugh, shaking my head. I loved how Camille was so impatient. It was something I'd always found cute about her, though let's face it, everything about her was cute. "Never. I was just thinking."

"About?" she asks curiously, her face turning serious. "It's about your mom, isn't it?" she asks in realization.

"You know too much already, you know that?" I ask teasingly, poking her stomach and making her squeal before lying down, my back hitting the soft green grass under me. Right now I don't care that I'm possibly ruining my shirt with grass stains, all I want to do is lay in the grass and stare up at the glittering stars… with Camille. I blush at the thought, a light pink color was surely rising to my cheeks and I silently thanked God that is was night and Camille couldn't see me clearly.

She laughs, falling back on her back. The cold grass touches her back, sending shivers down her spine. She moves closer to me, not that I mind. I wrap an arm around her, trying to warm her up. She curls up at my side, making me smile despite the day's events.

We stare up at the stars and in the darkness, they make the night even more peaceful.

"You never told me what was wrong anyways," Camille says, tilting her head up to meet mine.

"Eh, it's nothing," I shrug.

"Hey," she grabs my chin, making me look into her chocolate colored eyes, "If it's bothering you then it isn't nothing."

I sigh, pulling out my phone. A part of me knew that I shouldn't be telling her what was wrong, considering I would only be making her worry more yet another, bigger part of me wanted her to know. A part of me wanted her to comfort me.

I slide it open to my texts, not even stopping myself though I knew what I was getting myself into. "Read them," I whisper quietly.

Her eyes scan them, her expression changing much like James'. "Logan," she gasps, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

I give her a pointed look, knowing she knows why. She sighs, running her hand through her wild curls. "I just wish you'd told me and hadn't held it all in."

"Mmm," I murmur, "I would never have."

"I know."

I tighten my arm around her, resisting kissing the top of her head. No, that's not what friends did… right?

"Can I say something, Logan? Don't feel bad," she whispers, twiddling her thumbs around each other before tilting her head up again to look at me.

"I won't," I assure her.

"You're… vulnerable. I don't mean it in a way that you're weak and small but I mean that you let people walk all over you. You let people take advantage of you and one day, Logan, you're going to let it get out of control and it'll all backfire. If you don't stop letting them do that to you then one day someone will treat you even more horribly than now and take advantage of you and you won't even do anything about it."

Deep in my heart I know she's right. She's voicing my fears when I don't want to hear them. "I know. It's just that I don't know _how_. I don't know _how_ I'm supposed to set everything right after I let everything get so messed up. I don't know _how_ to change how I've been letting everything happen."

"That's just the thing, Logan. You don't need to know how. Hell, I don't even know how. But you don't need to know," she says, "Sometimes, and mock me for twisting Kendall's words, but sometimes you need to take that situation in your hands and take control of it. Guide it in your own direction. Because if you don't… then no one will. You're the only one that can change it, Logan. I might be able to help, Kendall, James, Carlos, Jo, Mrs. Knight, and everyone else may be able to help to but you're the only one who can turn this around completely."

She shivers, "You have to grab the opportunity you have now with both hands and put a stop to all of this and steer it into your own direction."

I nod. "I know. It's just… hard. I've never done anything like it before and I'm scared as much as I don't like to admit it. But you're right. I need to do something soon otherwise it's going to be too late."

"You'll figure something out, I know you will," she says, patting my stomach, "And besides, I'll always be there with you every step of the way."

I chuckle, "Thanks, Cami. You always know what to say."

"Nah but you're very welcome," she laughs, jutting her chin up.

The silence is nice in the darkness, but it's tense. Almost like we're anticipating for something to happen. She sighs, gripping my forearm and looking up at me. "Logan?" her sweet voice calls my attention. Even in the darkness with only the city lights and sparkling stars above to provide light, I can see her glimmering chocolate brown eyes, so innocent like. I get lost in them. It's almost as if nothing can go wrong right now. It's taking me everything to resist diving in and attacking her pink lips with mine.

She's about to say something, I know she is, yet she falters, shaking her head. "Uh- never mind," she says, ripping away from me and I immediately miss her warmth. She stands up, slightly shivering.

"Hey," I reach out to her, standing up myself, "You're cold." I shrug out of my hoodie, draping it over her shoulders.

My heart's thumping against my chest. We were so close. So damn close. If I wanted to and if I had the guts to do so, I would hold her to my chest and never let go.

"It's fine," she whispers but hugs the hoodie closer to her body nevertheless.

"You were going to tell me something, right?" I ask.

"It's was nothing. I'll just tell you later," she shrugs. I let it slide, sensing she didn't want to talk about it.

Then without any notice, she slips her hand into mine. She interlocks our fingers, holding my hand tightly. I can't help but break out into a smile that I am sure was ridiculous if it were bright enough outside.

"Thanks for the hoodie," she smiles warmly.

Her skin is like velvet, soft and smooth, and right now, I can't imagine a time I've felt any better. All too soon, we get to her apartment and she lets go of my hand and hands me my hoodie back.

"Bye Logan," she whispers, unlocking her door. She swings it open, just about to step inside before turning back around and pecking my cheek before slamming the door behind her after she's inside.

I raise a hand to my burning cheek, letting it hover over the exact place her lips met my skin. I sigh happily, looking at the door she disappeared behind, "Bye Cami."

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><p><strong>AN: Aww. I love writing about Logie's little crush on Cami. I think I'm obsessed with them... I call them by their nicknames. Haha. :) I'll try to do my best to update when I can. Hopefully school doesn't occupy me too much once I hand all these projects in.<strong>

**By the way, don't forget to watch Big Time Movie tonight!**

**So... review?**


	12. Surprise

**A/N: Even though it hasn't been that long, I feel like I've been kind of slacking on this story though I haven't meant to. But now, or at least until I start my new story, this is the only thing for me to work on and I'm thinking about putting off another story for a little while because school is getting a bit hectic. We'll see. But I really do love this story and I want to work on it as often as possible. So yeah. So just a little warning, I'm assuming from what you've told me, you weren't expecting this to happen... So find out what "this" is... Haha. :)**

**And thank you for all your support as always. Oh! And I saw the Hunger Games yesterday too! It was amazing!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and I characters that I have created.**

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><p>I smile, touching my cheek. She kissed me. Well sure it was just a quick peck on the cheek, but still. That quick peck, right now, was making me feel like I was at the top of the world. A smile makes it way to my lips and I know nothing was going to be able to wipe it off.<p>

I trudge my feet to 2J, trying to let the smile fall. But no, it was impossible. I had secretly liked Camille for almost over a month and even though she hadn't known, a little bit of hope sparked in me. Maybe she liked me back.

I almost laugh at the thought. There was no way she'd ever like me back. That kiss was probably just an in the moment thing. Yeah, that was it. Maybe it was the fact that I'd never been in a real relationship and that James had planned out every date that I'd ever been on, but I was scared. I didn't know what a relationship was supposed to be like but at the same time I longed for Camille to kiss me and let me hold her in my arms. I longed for that. As if we'd ever be in a relationship anyways.

But nothing at this point could put a stop to the hope that was growing inside of me. She had kissed me. And that was enough for me to have hope.

I get to the apartment in a daze, still thinking intently about the kiss. Maybe it had meant something. I push open the door, the smile evident on the features of my face. I was sure that the skin at the corners of my eyes were slightly crinkled and my lips were tilted upwards.

Pushing open the door, I rub the back of my neck, looking down.

"Logan!" a shrill voice exclaims. It's bitter yet sickeningly sweet. I know that voice too well. I shut my eyes. _No._ She wasn't here. There was no way, right? She was in Minnesota doing who knows what. Probably having an affair while my dad was at work. I could almost laugh at the thought if it wasn't for my sympathy for my dad. He probably had no idea what was going on. Fear builds inside of me and runs through my veins. There was no way... Still, I force myself to look up and oh how I wish I hadn't. There standing in the middle of the abstract, colorful living room was my mom. She stood out painfully, everyone else clad in bright, vibrant colors and her in dark gray attire. I cringe just looking at her.

My breath is knocked out and I struggle to breath. The smile I thought could not be ruined, was now long gone. "Mom..." I whisper, trying to hide the fear in my voice, "You're here."

"Don't you like my surprise?" she sneer, chuckling darkly. But I know no one has noticed but me. James, Kendall, Carlos and Mrs. Knight were all behind my mother, trembling smiles on their faces. They knew the struggles I had with my mom but I knew that even they didn't know to what extent it was. I searched James' eyes and he shoots me a desperate, helpless look. He feels bad for me, all of them do. I suppose Rachel and Katie are hanging out by the pool since they've been inseparable again after their reunion. Half of me is happy that Rach isn't here to see all this, that she isn't here to see our mom give us a "surprise", but the other half is wishing that she was here because in the end, it will be me who will have to explain to her why our mom decided to show up.

"Y-yeah," I stutter, wringing my hands together nervously.

"I've missed you and Rachel!" she tells me, gathering me into a hug. It's cold and feels odd. We rarely make physical contact but I figure she's put up a charade for everyone else. Then, in a low voice, she whispers threateningly in my ear, "Not. I hope you're ready for me to give you the hardest time of your life." Her voice is harsh and cold, putting even a Minnesota winter to shame. Then she pulls back, a feigned smile upon her face.

Instantly, I step back, coughing and sputtering. "I-I um... have to go- I'm going to go take a shower, okay? I kinda fell..." I trail off, only half lying. I did lie down in the grass and was sure to have grass stains splayed over the back of my shirt.

"Of course sweetie," Mrs. Knight responds.

"Yeah, of course sweetie," my mom says, a sinister smile on her face.

I force a smile, slowly backing away before bounding up the steps as soon as I reach them.

As soon as I reach the bathroom, I slam the door behind me, being careful that it's not so loud that my mom can hear. I turn the shower to as hot as it can go and slip inside without even bothering to take off my clothes. The clothes stick to my skin, drenched with water. It's hot and I can feel the water leaving red spots on my skin from the heat even through the fabric of my shirt. But I don't care. How... _Why_ was my mom here? Did she really want to torture me and Rachel so much? For the first time everything was going right and I thought I'd gotten away from my mom for the longest time and now she had to come and ruin it all. There was only so much I could take. Those texts and emails were horrible but nothing would ever compare actually being face to face with my mother. This was going to be hell.

I finally get out of the shower, peeling off my wet clothing and tossing it in the laundry and wrapping a white, fluffy towel around my waist. No doubt my back was as red as a lobster...

I step out the bathroom, into our bedroom and open up one of the drawers. Even though I know she's going to say something rude anyways, I throw on a nice light blue polo shirt and dark jeans just to let her know that I haven't changed that much- that I'm the same nerdy Logan that I was before I left Minnesota. Truth is, I was almost positive I'm not the same nerdy Logan that I once was. Sure I still care a lot about school and excel but my life had grown beyond school boundaries. L.A. has taught how to break out of my box and do what I want not what everyone else wants. It has taught me to be independent. But now that my mom was here, I was sure everything was going to go down the drain.

I look in the mirror, making sure I look presentable. I don't even know why I care so much about what she thinks.

"Logan," a voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I half hiss and half yelp at the sudden contact. Maybe I shouldn't have turned the water up so hot. I spin around, coming face to face with James. His eyes are concerned and I know I'm the reason behind his worrying. "Are you okay?" he asks in a low voice.

"Yeah," I say slowly, "Why wouldn't I be?" I ask, letting a wobbly smile come to my face. I look at him, my eyes softening, "I'm fine, I promise." And though I didn't realize it then, that was my third lie and after three lies, there's no going back.

He looks at me and I know he's not completely convinced. "I don't think so," he says slowly but I don't object. "Whatever. If you're going to keep letting this happen then let it, don't think I'm going to sit here and do nothing about it. Do you realize all the action we can take right now? Right now, the situation is in our hands. We have control, not her. And if you wait too long, Logan, it's going to be too late..." James rambles. He shoots out ideas, some crazy and others reasonable, but I'm only half listening. It's not like my mom isn't going to put down a damn good fight anyways.

It wouldn't be the first time my mom was trying to ruin something I wanted so bad. So maybe becoming a part of boy band with my three best friends and moving out to L.A. was never part of the plan. But it became part of it. That opportunity was too amazing to turn down and it soon became my dream too. I wanted this. I wanted this so bad. But the last thing I wanted was my mom to ruin this for all of us.

That was the thing. I don't think she realized what she was doing. By coming here, she wasn't making life harder for just me but everyone around me too. James, Kendall, Carlos, Rachel, Katie, Mrs. Knight, Camille... even Gustavo and Kelly were going to suffer from her actions as well. And that was going to cause everything to come crashing down.

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><p><strong>AN: So... how was that? I think I like how it came out. How many of you thought that was going to happen?**

**I don't know why chapters for this story never come out long. Every time I try to make them long they either come out short or I start rambling. I don't know. Maybe it just works that way...**

**I got a confession to make. As much as I love all the bromances, I usually be safe and stick with Kogan but... writing James more than I usually do is making me fall in love with Jagan. Lol.**

**So... review?**


	13. Scared

**A/N: Hey so thanks for all the reviews and stuff. Oh and if I'm reading any of your stories and haven't been reviewing lately, I'm really sorry. I haven't stopped reading, I swear. I just have no time to review lately and school is piling up but right after Thursday, I'm off school for spring break so I'll try to make it up to you. Hope you like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't anything but the characters I have created. **

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><p>I hear the front door slam shut and I can hear faint giggling downstairs. I squeeze my eyes shut. I was dreading every minute, every second. I was going to be the cause of the stop of her beautiful laugh. I hear the laughter coming closer, I hear it getting louder and all I want to do is lock my door and pray that no one comes in. Not that it would be any use anyways. Carlos had taught all of us, including Katie, how to pick locks and I had to admit, Katie was better than the rest of us, not including Carlos of course considering his father was a cop.<p>

"Logan? Guys? Mama K? Are any of you home?" a small, sweet voice calls out followed by laughing.

I clear my throat, it's dry, and tears won't come. Not that I want them to but it was overwhelming me, and the pit of my stomach felt tingly. "Y-yeah, Rach. I'm up in my room."

"Okay, I'll be right up!"

Soon enough, the door opens and a small, dark- haired head pops in, a smile gracing her lips. Rachel. "Hi, Logan! Can I come in?" she asks sweetly, turning her head up and batting her eyelashes through those irresistible eyes of hers.

"Of course honey," I reply.

She scrambles in, attacking me in a hug and catching me off guard. "Hey," she says, her voice muffled by my shirt. She pulls back, an even wider smile spread across her lips.

"Hey, sweetie," I whisper back, ruffling her hair, letting a small smile tug at the corners of my lips. She was the only one who could always make me smile no matter what. "What's got you so happy and smiley today?" I tease, poking her sides.

She squeals, erupting in a fit of giggles, "Ah! Stop it, Logan!" she shrieks before catching her breath, "I don't know, just feeling happy today."

Looking into her eyes, I knew couldn't do it. She looked so adorable, so small in my arms, it would break my heart to see her cry. I didn't want that. But eventually she was going to have to know, our mom was going to be home by tonight and then everything was going to come crashing down. I silently thank Mrs. Knight who decided to take her shopping, though I knew how much she really didn't want to, and then to look for a hotel seeing as we had no empty bedrooms. Thank God for that. Hell would have just gotten a little worse if we had enough space for her to live with us.

"Yay..." I whisper weakly, down casting my eyes. I took a deep breath and gathered courage. I briefly closed my eyes and rubbed her back before tilting her chin up so she would look at me. Her smile was still intact and her eyes were shining. "Hey, I need to tell you something important," I say softly, playing with the ends of her hair.

"Yeah tell me Logie!" she exclaims enthusiastically. She was just so happy. It was killing me even more now, knowing that I was about to ruin everything. Butterflies flutter in my stomach and it clenches, twisting and turning. I kiss her forehead, looking into her soulful eyes, "I want you to listen to me carefully okay, Rach?"

She nods eagerly, obviously unaware of what was happening. "Okay."

"I really hate that I'm the one who has to tell you this because you don't even know how this is for me to tell you and break your sweet little heart."

Then in the most quiet, timid voice I've ever heard from her, she whispers frantically, "What's wrong Logan? You're scaring me." She was a generally quiet girl but the volume of her voice worry about her. I've never really heard her talk so softly- so frighteningly.

"Rachel, mom's back," I blurt out but in those three words, I could see her face immediately contorted from smiling to nearly hysterical. She laughs, shaking her head as if to rid herself of all bad thoughts.

"Logan... Tell me you're lying. Please. Don't kid me like that. I finally got away from her after all these years... Please," she grabs my shirt, begging.

I reach up, rubbing circles on her cheeks as tears begin to gather in her warm eyes. They spill over, dribbling down her pink cheeks. "Stop it please," she pleads, breaking my heart a little more if it was even possible. She throws her arms around my neck and cries into my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I say, hugging her as close to me as possible. I stroke her dark brown tresses in attempts to soothe her bit I know nothing is going to help. Tears prick my eyes but I don't dare to let them fall. No. Not while Rachel was here.

"Why? Logan... I don't want her here," she whimpers. For the first time in years, I feel like I'm talking to someone of her age. She's always been so wise beyond her years but now... she looked so small. She buries her head into the crook of my neck and shakes with sobs. "I wish she would go away. She's going to ruin everything," she cries.

I nuzzle my nose into her soft locks, whispering, "It's okay," and though I'm not sure of myself I whisper, "We'll be okay."

I'm not sure if I'm lying through my teeth or saying the truth but I'd do anything to make her feel a bit better. I gather her up in my arms and lie us down on the bed and pull the covers on over us. We had this moment in peace because by tonight, everything was going to be ruined. I kiss her forehead one last time before we both drift off into an uneasy slumber, both of us with worries in our minds.

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><p>Both of us are awakened by the voice that haunts both of our minds. I pull Rachel closer to me, holding her tighter, as I hear the voice and footsteps come closer. The doorknob jiggles and swings open, revealing the only person that ever haunts my dreams. With an overly fake smile and dark eyes, she comes towards us, picking up Rachel though she's still sleeping. She whines a bit, stirring before realizing what was happening. I want nothing more than to reach out and take her away from my mom but I know I can't do that when Mrs. Knight was right there. Mom forces her to hug her, and Rachel looks over Mom's shoulder, sending me a frightened look.<p>

I shoot one back, one full of sympathy and as soon as she sets her down again, Rachel runs into my arms again. She seats herself in my life, clinging onto me like I was her lifeline. I felt so bad for her, and it was killing me that I couldn't do anything about it. I hated how Mom had the ability to make Rachel break down all her walls and make her feel _scared_ of her own mother.

Mrs. Knight smiles and turns around and leaves. Mom seats herself at the edge of my bed. "So... How are you?" then she laughs, "As if I care. How are your grades Logan?"

My face was probably getting whiter by the minute. "G- good. It's s-summer vacation but my college classes are going great."

"What are you getting?" she presses.

This was just like her. Nothing had changed. She still cares more about grades than anything else, including her own children. She just wants something to flaunt off and someone's life to ruin. She had already ruined so much, including my Dad's life. He was still completely out of the blue and though I hated how he never spared time for me or Rachel, I still felt sorry for him.

"As," I reply, proud of myself.

"That's it? Why not A+s?" she yells while still being cautious of the volume of her voice.

I inwardly groan, wrapping an arm around Rachel's shaking body. She really hadn't changed. Nothing and no one was ever going to be good enough for her and while I'd given up a long time ago, it still hurt. I'd never really be good enough for her. Ever.

"Why do you always have to be like that?" I blurt out and then slap my hand over my mouth, realizing what I just said. I had never, ever back talked my mom.

She smirks almost mischievously. "What did you say? I have no idea what you're talking about Logan! Don't you dare accuse me of anything. If anything, this is all your fault."

I didn't get why she was saying all this but a little part of my heart stung. I knew it wasn't my fault, that was one thing that she could say but not have it effect me.

"I'm sorry," I say immediately though I don't really mean it. I sound like such a coward and I hate it. Even though she sort of does, I don't want her to know that she controls me- that she has power over me. "Sorry, I swear, I didn't mean it," I add on, still not meaning it entirely. It was instinct- a protective one. A side of me knew things would get ugly if I didn't apologize, and I needed to be there for Rachel no matter what. That was one thing I couldn't risk.

"Good," she chuckles, "Don't you try anything with me." With that, she twists on her heel and she looks over her shoulder, just briefly saying, "So let the games begin." She winks devilishly and then exits the room, leaving me to comfort Rachel.

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><p><strong>AN: A lot of fluffy sibling stuff was thrown in there... I liked it and I hope you liked it too****. Okay, this week is going to be fun and torturing at the same time so I'll try my best to update again next Saturday. I have so much work to do for this week... Oh, and to all my Haunted readers, the sequel is officially in progress. I'm pretty sure I'll split it up into chapters because it looks overwhelming if I put it all together, I think. So yeah. We'll see when that's up because it's not near done yet.**

**Okay hope you liked it and don't forget to watch the KCAs tonight to see BTR accept their blimp. They just HAVE to win! :)**

**So... review?**


	14. The Truth

**A/N: I'm going to be honest with you. This story is more of a challenge to write than anything. While it's still fun and all, I have realized I still need to work out everything before I can write chapters. So that's why it sometimes takes more than one week to update. I'm sorry but I do hope you understand.**

**Thank you all for your continuous support as always. I really appreciate it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot and the characters which I have created.**

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><p>"Logan. Logan. Logan, wake up!" an alert voice tells me but I shrug it off, sinking further into the pillows. "Logan, please. We don't have a lot of time!"<p>

I crack my eyes open slightly. Everything's a blur and I reach up to rub the sleep out of my eyes. The petite figure crouches down next to Rachel, nudging her shoulder as well. "Rachel? Sweetie, I need you to get up for me, okay?" she asks in a much softer voice. I blink twice. Wild dark brown curls, warm eyes, pink lips… Camille.

"Camille?" I whisper to confirm my suspicion.

"No Logan, it's the ghost of the Palm Woods. Of course it's me! Who else has a key to your apartment besides me and Jo?" she says sarcastically, playfully rolling her eyes.

"It's like five in the morning. Not that I don't want you here but… why are you here?" I ask confusedly.

"You'll understand when we get there, I promise. In fact, I don't exactly know why we're going anyways. James texted me like fifteen minutes ago and he told me to get you and Rach and meet him down at the pool," she tells him, shrugging her shoulders.

"Isn't the pool closed at five in the morning?"

"I don't know! And I bet James doesn't care- his text sounded pretty serious, Logan."

"Okay, I guess I'll get up," I stand up, stretch and then reach down to pick up Rachel. Poor girl was still tired. She was half awake and by the time we reached the pool, I was sure she would be awake. Her arms instantly go around my neck and her legs around my waist, her head lulls to the side, resting on my shoulder. I kiss her long dark hair and I catch Camille's eye. She's looking at me. "What are you staring at?" I ask, grinning.

"Oh nothing. You know you're a really good big brother, right?"

"I know," I smile, "Thanks. I'd do anything for her."

"Aww!" she coos, "That's adorable. She's very lucky to have you. Now come on, let's go," she says, holding my hand and dragging Rachel and I downstairs. My stomach flips in anticipation and nerves and I bite my bottom lip.

Before we know it, we're in one of the blue cabanas. As we lift the thin material up, we're not surprised to see James yet we are surprised to see Kendall, Carlos and Jo as well. James is pacing in front of them and they're watching him with curious eyes. There's a bit of fear glinting in their eyes. They've never seen the James Diamond so stressing or even so worried for that matter.

"James?" Camille's velvety voice calls him out and he staggers a few steps back at the sudden noise.

"Camille," he sighs in relief, "You're here. And you brought Logan and Rachel. Good."

His sentences were choppy, nothing like his normal superfluous sentences that dragged on forever. Quite honestly, I'd never seen James so flustered before.

"Sit," he tells us, motioning to one of the small couches. He continues pacing back and forth and runs a hand through his hair. His locks fall perfectly back into place though I was sure on a normal day, not only would James be getting his "beauty sleep" but also making sure he never let a hair on his head fall out of place.

Then he sits down himself, across from us and looks me in the eyes. "So…?"

I look at him, confused. "So what? You're the one who called us all down here!"

"What are we going to do now?" he asks in a strained voice. He rests his head on his hand which is propped up on his knee and gives me a cross look.

"What are we going to do about what?"

"Don't act stupid, Logan. You know very well what I'm talking about!"

Then it dawns upon me. He was talking about _her_. All eyes were on me, watching my every move and they were holding onto every word.

"Oh…" I say in realization.

"Yeah, oh! Come on, Logan. Don't you think it's time for you to at least tell them now? Your mom is here! In L.A.- right where you said she'd never be! L.A. was supposed to be your escape from her and now she's back and you're not even doing anything!" James yells.

"Shut up, James. What am I supposed to do? All I can do is wait and watch because I'm a coward and she had control over every freaking part of me!" Anger boils inside of me though I'm not entirely sure why. James was saying the truth yet at the same time, it was that truth that I was ashamed of. I know I can do something though I wasn't doing anything at all.

He sighs. "Logan, you know that's not true," his voice softens. He gets up, sitting next to me and then pulling me into a sideways hug. "Buddy… it'll get better, I promise."

"James," I move his arm away from me, "That's not something you can promise."

Then suddenly, someone clears their throat and James and I instantly look up.

"Logan? What's going on?" Rachel murmurs against my chest, finally waking up.

"Shh," I soothe her, patting her hair.

"No Rach's right… What is going on guys? There's something not right here- there's something we don't know," Carlos speaks up.

"Logan… what does James know that we don't?"

"My mom likes to hurt with words," I blurt out before slapping my hand over my mouth. So much for not bothering them with my problems. "But you know that already. But she's gotten much worse," I continue before I can stop myself.

"What he means is that she's verbally abusive," James finishes.

"What? No, James. She's not," I retort.

"Bud, for once, I did all my research for once and you know very well that she's being verbally abusive."

"Verbally abusive? Logan… what does that mean?" Rachel asks quietly, frightened. "I know what being abusive is but… you don't think Mom is _abusive_ right?" she cringes at the word.

"No, honey, not at all," I tell her immediately.

"Logan, yes she is," James reaches over and takes Rachel from my lap and sits her down in his. "I want you to listen to me carefully, okay sweetie?"

She nods, tilting her head up in curiosity. "Okay," she whispers.

James tightens his arm around her, "Logan's been getting some pretty horrible texts, emails and phone calls and they're all from your Mom."

She whimpers, hugging James. "They're all threatening or demeaning, am I right? She sent him those to put him down…"

"Yeah. How did you know that?" he asks her.

"I'm not stupid, James. I know my big brother. If you said that he has been getting all of those texts, emails and phone calls from our mom and he hasn't told me about it then it's obvious there's a reason why. And besides, I know Mom too. She _would_ do that. She would torture Logan and try to get him to his bursting point and she knows that no matter what, he'd never tell me."

Tears threaten me as they spring to my eyes and as much as I try to stop them, a few lone tears trickle down my cheek.

"Show me your phone," Kendall says sternly. He holds his hand out, motioning me to give him my phone.

I shake my head furiously. "No, Kendall."

I clutch it in my hands tightly and look back at him. His emerald colored orbs are on fire. They're darker and I know I've seen that look plenty of times before. His eyes are on fire with rage and anger- all directed towards my mom. He's always been more than a little protective of all of us. More specifically Carlos and I. We were the smaller ones and while James was the oldest, he and Kendall were the ones who automatically stepped up and declared themselves our protectors. Not that I minded most of the time but sometimes I needed to fight my own battle.

"You said you had this under control but you don't. Give him the phone," James tells me. When I don't, he wriggles it out of my hand successfully and hands it to Kendall before I can take it back from him.

His face contorts as does Carlos' and Jo's just as James' and Camille's did.

"Logan… this is horrible," Jo says in astonishment, "We can't just sit here and do nothing."

"No!" I close my eyes, lick my lips and then open them again. "No. We- what are we even supposed to do? Even if we stand up to her, it's going to be no use. I know my mom, she's stubborn. She doesn't give up so easily and she's going to make sure we don't have a fun experience. And I don't want you guys involved. It's only going to get you into more trouble. Rach and I will figure it out."

"Logan, you're our friend. Our best friend. And we love Rachel like our own little sister. We're not going to leave you hanging and we don't want anything to happen to you guys."

They weren't going to give up. They were almost just as stubborn as my mom. No matter what I say, they were going to protest and not take 'no' for an answer.

"If you don't do something, then we will because we can't stand to see out best friend be taken advantage of," James finishes for all of them.

Then everyone gets up, James taking Rachel with him, and I'm left alone with Camille.

"You haven't said a word," I realize, looking down at my clasped hands.

"I know," she whispers.

"What do you think I should do?"

I trusted her, probably a little more than everyone else. I knew Camille would tell me truthfully what she wanted without having a million and one thoughts plague her mind.

"About your mom? I don't know Logan…." A gust of wind blows over, she shivers and moves closer to me and almost out of instinct, my arm goes around her shoulder.

I look at her carefully. "You do know. Tell me please."

She sighs, "I think…" she pauses, looking up at me, "I think you should just follow your heart. It won't let you make a mistake."

Then she stands up, giving me one last look. She leans down and kisses my cheek. "Good night, Logan. Or actually more of a good morning. Think about what I said, okay?"

I nod. "Okay."

Then she turns around and goes back up to her apartment, leaving me all alone in the cabana with only the chilly breeze of the morning to keep my awake.

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><p><strong>AN: So now they all know. Read James' last line carefully, just saying. Okay. I don't know if this was boring not though I hope it wasn't. I hope you liked it...**

**Btw, all my Haunted readers, I posted the sequel "Stronger" last week and updated it this morning. Go check it out if you're interested.**

**I also got a tumblr: always dreaming57. tumblr. com -Make sure you take out all the spaces.**

**So... review?**


	15. Working Hard

**Hey, hey, hey. How are y'all? Omg I sound southern. My science teacher says y'all even though we're in Jersey. Okaaaay. Anyways, that was off topic. I hope you like this chapter.**

**A/N: I don't anything but the plot and the character I have created.**

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><p>Her dark eyes were watching my every move. They never left me and honestly, it made me more than a little uncomfortable. It was like she was waiting for me to screw up just so she could tell me what a failure I was. I think that's why I was trying especially hard today. Logan Mitchell always gives a hundred perfect but right now, I was giving a hundred and ten. It wasn't that I didn't want to hear her nag or even the fact that I wanted to please her because I didn't really care. What she thought of me didn't really matter because I knew I was doing a good job. But having her watch me made me push harder to achieve my goal. Not to please her like I said before, but to prove that she was wrong. Wrong about her thinking that I couldn't sing, that I couldn't dance, that I couldn't do anything. The worst thing I could do was give in. And I had to prove her wrong- I wasn't a failure and I was on the same level as everyone else. Maybe even higher.<p>

It was then I realized the confidence Hollywood had given me. In the third grade, I met my best friends and while they managed to break me out of my shell a little, L.A. had done what they hadn't been able to do. I was no longer the scrawny little kid who hid in the corner when someone bigger or tougher walked by. I wasn't scared anymore- to be myself, do things per my wish, to stand out. I finally had a place where I could call home and not worry. That is, until Mom showed up. Quite honestly, she was the only person that I was actually scared of.

Nevertheless, proving her wrong sparked something inside of me. For once, I would be right and she would be wrong and that sent a thrill through my body.

So I pushed myself no matter how tired I was and no matter how much I wanted to just collapse in the middle of the dance floor. The recording of our latest song was perfect and even Gustavo had nothing to say against it. Though looking into my mom's hard, cold eyes, I knew she did.

We were practicing dance moves and sweat dribbled down all our foreheads and soaked our shirts. Namely, mine. Back flip after back flip followed by the hardest dance moves we've done so far- it was safe to say we were all exhausted. So when Kelly finally called time, we sighed out of relief and began packing up our stuff.

"Dog! I mean… Logan… You did um… a really great job today. Keep it up," Gustavo tells me, stammering over half the words. He shifted uncomfortably, obviously not in the habit of praising others.

I beamed because my hard work had indeed paid off. "Thank Gustavo. I will." I had to admit it was strange to see the Gustavo Rocque talking well of anyone but deep down, I was sure he had a heart of gold.

"I hope your mommy enjoyed it. Picking up your game to impress Mommy, huh?" he asks. He was joking mostly, I knew, but a tight smile appears on my face.

"Something like that."

Then I turn and catch up with my friends because I'm sure we're walking and we're letting my mom take the limo to her hotel. None of us wanted to be around her anyway. But at rehearsal, Mom's eyes weren't the only ones watching me. There were three other pairs too- belonging to Kendall, James and Carlos. Their eyes were heavy with concern, even now, though my mom was long gone.

I think it was only Carlos who bothered to make contact with me when he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. James and Kendall knew how to let their anger get to them and sometimes, they were blinded by it. Maybe it was a bit of annoyance too but they wanted to help in ways I didn't want them to. But Carlos was different. He never held grudges against ones he loved and he was understanding. We grew up together as the "little brothers" and in some ways that made us a bit closer when Kendall and James were off "protecting" us.

"It's going to be okay, Logan," he reassures me. Whether he's talking about Kendall and James or Mom, I find comfort in his words.

"I know, Carlos. Thanks."

His arm around me tightens and suddenly I feel like the youngest out of them all. "They're all just a little hard headed- they'll get some sense knocked into them when they realize they need to be here for you rather than just think about revenge or what not."

I nod, "Kendall and James have the tendency to do that a lot but they'll come around."

The both of them were far ahead of us by now and we'd slowed our pace.

"I think they think they know what's best for you but…" he trails off.

"But they don't. I mean they kind of do but they're thinking of this situation in their own way and in their head, it's action. That's not the way I want to put a stop to this. I need to do it in my own way, at my own time."

"I know, Logie. And we'll be there for you every step of the way."

He pats my back and I hug him close for a few brief seconds before pulling away so the both of us can catch up to Kendall and James.

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><p>But after going home, I didn't feel like Kendall and James' eyes watching me so instead I showered and changed and said goodbye to Carlos and continued down the hallway until I got to Camille's apartment. I didn't have to knock, I never did, and I used my copy of her key to let myself in. I found her snuggled up on the couch in her living room watching a movie.<p>

She notices me and pats the seat down next to her on the couch. It's almost as if she could read my mind because she somehow knew instantly why I was there. "So talk to me," she turns on the couch and smiles warmly. She props her elbows up on her knees as she crosses her legs.

"I just wanted to come see you," I say shrugging my shoulders. It wasn't the entire truth but I really did want to see her.

"Sure you did," she teases.

I hold my hands up in surrender, "Well I did want to see you since I haven't all day but I also didn't want to face James and Kendall again. Or at least not until tomorrow."

"They're only doing it because they care about you, you know. But I know what you mean… they can let it get a little out of hand."

I feel a buzzing in my pocket and pulled out my phone.

_Your boss is crazy. He's a untalented loser especially for thinking that you, of all people, did a good job._

I go to my texts and immediately delete it. I'd let her break me a million times but I wasn't about to let her break me a million and one.

I don't reply, I rarely do, because it gives her satisfaction and that's the last thing I wanted.

"That was your mom, wasn't it?" Camille asks softly. She surprises me at how much she knows me and how she knows what happened before I have the chance to say anything.

I smile at her, looking up at her. "Yeah."

"And you're not upset…" she says slowly. She looks at me confusedly, a small smile tugging on the corners of her lips.

"I know I did a good job at rehearsal today so I'm just not going to let it get to me. I'm a little upset but it doesn't even matter right now."

"You know I'm really proud of you, Logan. You've grown so much stronger in these past few months. I honestly think you know how to handle this and have this under control," she tells me. She wrings her hands together, swaying back and forth on the couch.

My heart swells at her words. She believed in me. Even when my best friends since the third grade didn't. "Thank you Camille, really."

Some strange confidence that I've never known before is building and before I can stop myself, I lean in and tenderly kiss her cheek before standing up. "I um… should get going. See you soon, Cam."

Then I turn and leave, cringing at what I'd just done. Stupid, stupid Logan. But I couldn't say that I regretted it entirely because it was nice.

By the time I reach 2J, all the lights are out and everyone's asleep. I trudge upstairs to Kendall and my shared room and collapse on the bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, I knew, because any day with Mom was a day to be dreaded.

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><p><strong>AN: I threw a little Cargan in there! Woot! I'm kinda switching out the boys and I figured Carlos would be the cool-headed one while James and Kendall would be hard- headed. Okay. I hope you liked this chapter and I'm beyond excited for the next chapter! YAYY!**

**So... review?**


	16. Standing Up, Speaking Out

**A/N: I know I've been gone for a really long time and I feel horrible about it but things have come up and I'm not going to bore you and give you all excuses. So, just know I'm back and ready to write! I'm officially on summer break which gives me more time on my hands. So... I hope you guys like this chapter! Oh and thanks for all your reviews, faves, and alerts as always.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and the characters I have created.**

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><p>The next morning, when I cracked my eyes open, I grumbled as I rolled out of bed to answer the knocking at the door. For once, I hadn't gotten up earlier than everyone else and had every intention to return to bed once I answered the door. Why did everyone decide today of all days to have plans?<p>

I scratch the back of my head and run a hand through my hair as I climb down the wooden stairs. Thankfully, I was cold last night and wore pajama bottoms and a hoodie as opposed to my usual boxers and t-shirt.

To say I was surprised would be an understatement if I were to describe my reaction when I saw my mother sitting at the kitchen table eating her breakfast. Yesterday, everyone had declared their plans, and for the most part today, I was supposed to be alone. And I had actually been looking forward to alone time. Not that it was going to work out now that my mother was here.

I raise my eyebrows at her as if to say 'couldn't you have gotten that?' I roll my eyes at her as soon as I turn around when she completely ignores me. Figures.

The only good thing is when I see who's on the other side of the door, is that it's Camille. I resist giving her the usual hug I give her everything I see her and instead, let her in while carefully eyeing my mother.

"Hey Logan!" she chirps cheerfully, not at all effected by my appearance or the fact that my mother's eyes were practically bearing into her soul.

"Hi Cami," I greet back, rubbing the last of the sleep left in my eyes. "What brings you here?"

She ignores my question almost completely, looking over my shoulder to greet my mom as well. "Good morning Mrs. Mitchell."

I don't know how she manages to be so nice to her despite knowing everything that has been going on but I figure she's not Kendall or James who let a situation rule every factor of their actions and words. Nevertheless, Camille waves happily at her before turning back to me.

"I know it's kind of early, well actually not really, but it seems as if you just got up but anyways, I just came by to drop off your phone. You must have left it on my coffee table or something when you came over yesterday," she informs me. She digs through her purse until she finds it and hands it to me with a sweet smile.

"Thanks Camille."

"No problem."

What I didn't notice is my mom approaching from behind, the same sneering expression on her face that she had the first day she arrived here in L.A. A feeling in the gut of my stomach told me something dramatic was going to happen and I wasn't exactly going to be a big fan.

"Tell me... Camille, is it?... Why you bother to hang out with him of all people? I mean, you're pretty, you seem smart and if you're in Hollywood, then you must be talented unlike my son who got lured in. Can't you find anyone better?" she snarls.

Even though I've heard all of this a million times, a familiar but dulling pang of hurt hits me and brings me uneasiness. As opposed to me, however, Camille had never in her life witnessed anyone speak about their own child like that. Her jaw drops open, her beautiful brown eyes widen, and she stares at me in astonishment.

"No... I- Logan- You... How can you talk about your own son like that?" she stammers, stumbling over her words.

It was one thing for her to hear about what happened and another thing to witness it and play a part in it.

My mom sighs, "It pains me to know that I have to call this one my son. I don't know what I've ever done to deserve him as a punishment- he's not smart, not good looking, the complete opposite of me."

She speaks so highly of herself that it almost makes me sick to hear it.

"Mrs. Mitchell, not to be rude or talk back because you are older than me but... Don't talk about your own son like that. I don't know how a parent could ever talk about their own son, their own flesh and blood, like that. You're not realizing what you have," she tells her.

I hold onto her wrist to stop her. It's obviously not worth it and there was no point in arguing with her. Besides, it wasn't as if I wasn't used to it already. She shakes my hand off though and for a brief moment, I almost want to let her keep talking. For once, someone was sticking up for me and holding their ground all in the same. The thing is, Camille needed to stop before she got hurt herself. Honestly, that would be the worst pain of all for me. It's okay if my mother hurts me, but never my loved ones.

"You have the greatest son and daughter anyone could ask for. Rachel is the sweetest, most kind- hearted girl I've ever had the honor of meeting and she's definitely wise beyond her years. And Logan, he's smart, good looking, charming and if you think for a second that I'm a loser for hanging out with him, then you're dead wrong. Just because Logan or Rachel don't speak up against you, doesn't mean no one else will. It's wrong the way you treat them-" she's cut off when my mother draws her hand back and swipes it across her face.

I wince at the sound, and pull her as far away from my mother as I can. This is what I feared would happen. Camille got hurt.

"Mom!" Anger brews inside of me. She couldn't touch Camille like that.

"You little slut, how dare you talk to me like that? You have no right to tell me what I'm doing right or wrong."

But I knew Camille, and she wasn't one to back down. She clutches her burning cheek, while replying to her ever so calmly, "Look, Mrs. Mitchell. I know you're older than me, I know that, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you're always right. Sometimes adults can be wrong too, and you just happen to be wrong more often than others. And as for everything I'm telling you, I'm just telling you the truth and what someone should have told you a long, long time ago."

She's furious, I can see it in her eyes. There's fire burning in it, one I've never seen before. "And one more thing, don't EVER call me a slut. Just because you think you can treat everyone like that, doesn't mean it's okay to. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go ice my cheek."

With that, she turns and exits through the already open door.

For one thing, I'd never had anyone speak up for me in my life. All my life, I'd been too scared, too nervous, too much of a coward to ever say something against my mother and when I did, I was always harshly scolded. And now... now it was taking me everything to not go after Camille right as she left, hug her and thank her a million times.

But no, I couldn't, not yet anyways. If Camille stood up for me, the least I could do was speak up for her and myself as well. It was almost as if she brought out more confidence. It was a good thing too, it's about time I did this.

"The nerve of some people," she grumbles under her breath.

I shake my head at her. She never would change. "You know something, Mom? Sometimes I think you wish I was better off dead. Or at least not your son and you just confirmed that today. Every single day of my life, I let you treat me like I wasn't good enough, and I let you. I let you hurt me and break me down on the inside. But not anymore," I pause briefly, "And another thing, I let you touch me but don't ever even think of touching Camille, Rachel, or the guys again or I swear you'll regret it."

I turn on my heel as I watch a wave of shock overcome her face and within seconds it's gone, only to be replaced with disgust. As soon as my hand is on the doorknob, ready to shut the door behind me after I leave, she makes a nasty comment.

"Off to see your little bitchy friend?" she growls, putting quotation marks around the word friend.

I narrow my eyes at her. "Don't. Ever. Call. Her. That. She's been better to me than so many people ever have so just hush."

Then I turn and slam the door behind me as I jog down the hallway to Camille's apartment. Out of habit, I try pushing open the door only to find it locked. I dig into my pocket, pulling out the silver keys with the PalmWoods logo to unlock the apartment door.

"Camille?" I call out, "Cami?"

I don't have to look very far, because as soon as I enter and look to my right, Camille is there pulling two mugs out of the cupboard.

"Hey Logan," she replies softly. Her voice is much too quiet and not... her.

"Hi," I greet her almost just as quietly, sitting down onto one of the chairs next to the small island in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry about everything that just happened. I guess I just kind of lost my temper a little bit and spoke a little too much about what was on my mind," she answers, brewing coffee on the stove for the both of us.

"No. I just came to say... Thank you. Had it not been for you, I would never have said anything at all to my mom after you left and... she also needed to hear that. So thank you, I owe you a lot, Cami," I tell her truthfully.

"There's no need to thank me, Logan. I just spoke the truth."

"But still..." I protest.

"It's no big deal, Logan," she says.

"And I'm also really sorry about what my mother said to you and for what she did. I wish I could take back what she did," I smile at her apologetically.

"It's fine, Logan. It was worth it," she counters.

I sigh, "Not really, the last thing I wanted was for you to get hurt. But you're okay right? Is your cheek better?"

"I'm okay, I promise. Don't worry about me, Logan. I'm happy about what I did and I hope you too," she responds with a light laugh.

I stand and move closer to her, touching her red splotched cheek with me fingers daintily. It's only then I realize how close we really were. I hadn't realized that we had been leaning in closer to each other, and that now our noses were millimeters apart. Her neatly glossed pink were practically teasing me. There they were in front of me, almost begging me to give in and kiss her. My eyes flicker up to meet hers, brown meets brown, and it's almost as if a silent consent is shared and before I can think twice about what was happened, I lean in once again and connect our lips.

It wasn't my first kiss, but it nearly felt like it. Camille wasn't just a random girl James begged me to go on a date with do he could date her friend or anything. I truly cared about her, and the kiss felt so right as our lips moved slowly against each others. It wasn't minutes long either, yet seemed like the best kiss I'd ever had.

Grins form as soon as we pull away, and there's a twinkle in her eyes again that had disappeared for sometime.

"Wow," she comments, "That was... really nice."

I chuckle under my breath as I take her hands in mine. "Now that that happened, I really want to tell you what I've been meaning to for a quite some time now."

She smiles brightly, almost as if she knows what's coming. All the uneasiness from before is now gone and forgotten.

"I really, really like you, Camille. As in more than a friend. I have for a little while now. That kiss was definitely one I can say was the best I've ever had and I'm really glad that it was with you. So, after all the drama with my mom is over and I can focus on us, I would love to take you out on a date. Would you like to go on a date with me, Camille?" I ask sweetly, intertwining our fingers together.

"I would love to, Logan."

"Did you really mean it when you said I was smart, good looking, and charming?" I can't help but tease her. A pink hue rises to her cheeks, as her eyes flutter downwards and she nods shyly.

Gosh she was so cute.

"Shut up," she blushes even harder.

I pull her into my arms and hug her close. "But seriously, Cami, thank you... for everything."

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><p><strong>AN: Well there you have it. I actually think I like how this chapter came out. **

**Once again, thanks for all your patience and support and I'll be updating more frequently now.**

**So... review?**

**Oh yeah... WOO HOO! Check out all the BTR stuff that's going on today. It's going to be amazin'!**


	17. Sneaky

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and the characters that I've created.**

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><p>I couldn't bring myself to leave Camille for the longest time. I stayed in her apartment for quite a few hours, caring for her cheek, talking and learning more about her, and sometimes even sharing a few kisses. It was sweet and for the first time in a long time, I was able to forget about everything that was happening around me. But before long, Camille had a audition to go to and I kissed her cheek, making sure she was alright.<p>

"I'm fine, Logan , really," she had chuckles and kissed my cheek as well before waving goodbye. I had walked her to the end of the hallway but now that she was gone, I was forced to go home again. Folding my hands together, I silently prayed that someone other than my mother was home. That was the last thing I needed. I squeeze my eyes shut and cross my fingers as if I was eight rather than eighteen before pushing open the door to 2J.

But I suppose luck was slightly in my favor right now because when I finally gained the courage to open my eyes, I saw that Kendall, James and Carlos were home once again. And so was my mother. At the moment, however, I didn't care. The guys were home which meant Mom couldn't do or say anything to me.

As usual the guys were sprawled across the bright orange sofas, watching TV while my mother was doing who- knows- what on her phone as she sat at the spotless white table.

"Hey guys," I greet them. I walk straight past my mother and to the couches, gently moving Carlos' feet over to make room for myself.

"Hey Logan," they murmur back, completely enthralled in the whatever they were watching.

For fifteen minutes, we stay like that until I feel James lightly poking my shoulder. As I look at him, I notice the mysterious glint in his eyes. His face is eager, just like when we offer Carlos a corn dog or offer James, himself, Cuda products. Almost simultaneously, he and Kendall get up and motion us to follow them with their hands. They lead us upstairs to our rooms and I lock eyes with Carlos and give him a questioning look who only shrugs his shoulders in response. Great. He had no idea what was going on either. As far as I knew, however, he had spent the day at the comic book store that had newly opened down the street which made sense why he didn't know what was going on. But as for James and Kendall, they hadn't exactly been talking to me in a polite way lately so their plans for today were beyond me. Yet for some odd reason, I had a feeling it effected me. Weird.

Kendall shuts the door behind him, constricting all four of us in my and Kendall 's shared room.

"What's going on?" I ask, the slightest bit nervous.

Kendall sighs rather loudly but the expression on his face remains. He's excited… nervous… and fearful all the same.

"Guess what?"

"What?" I respond.

"Just so you know and before we say anything, we did what we did because we care about you, Logan and we want the best for you," James reassures.

"James… Kendall … what did you do?" My tone becomes apprehensive and I look down at my hands and wring my hands, avoiding their eyes.

""We looked up Child Services and their description of emotional abuse and our situation fits it perfectly! Or at least we most likely qualify for it. So, we called a lawyer who can help us file a case against your mom," Kendall tells me. He takes a seat next to me on the bed and wraps his arm around my shoulders which I instinctively shrug away.

As soon as the words tumble out of his mouth, I have to resist getting up and letting the ball of anger explode inside of me. How could they? I had specifically told them to not do anything. I hadn't wanted them to do anything. This was my problem and I was going to deal with it. But Kendall and James were so damn stubborn. They always had to get involved no matter how many times I told them "no" and I didn't understand. As much as they wanted to help, sometimes they made things even worse. I usually appreciated their help though I didn't like to admit it much. But this? They took it too far this time. I mean, honestly? They wanted to file a court case against my mother.

Granted, my mother wasn't the most kind hearted, respectful, or accepting person but she, after all, was still my mother and she had raised me and taken care of me for years. She kept me alive. That may not sound like much but she took care of me since the time I was a baby until before I left Minnesota and at the end of the day, she was my mother and I loved her no matter what she has done.

I look over at Carlos who's face shared a shocked look that matched my own. He hadn't had a part of this and judging by the look on his face, he didn't approve of James and Kendall 's actions either- something I was grateful for.

"What the hell? Guys, I told you not to get involved!" I yell as blood rushes to my face.

Clearly, they both expected me to be overjoyed and thank them a million times because they are taken aback in surprise.

"Logan," James says calmly, "We told you that you had to do something to put a stop to... All of this and you didn't and we told you that we would do something if you didn't so... we did."

"I don't care!" I shriek, "I don't c-care. Don't you get it? You'll never understand how messed up this is. No matter what my mom does to me, she'll always be my mom. It doesn't matter how frustrated I get with her or even how much I can't stand her. But I can't file a court case against her for... emotional abuse. I can't do that to her."

"But Logan ..." James protests.

I shake my head, holding back tears. "No. No buts, James. Please, I'm begging you," I fold my hands together and look up at him with pleading eyes, "Tell the lawyer it was a false alarm or everything's fine or something! Just don't file a case against her."

Kendall narrows his green eyes, obviously holding his ground. "Or what?" he presses.

"Or I'll never forgive you, Kendall . I'll never forgive you for being sneaky and going behind my back and doing all this if you file a case against my mother. End. Of. Story. It's your decision."

Anger is still fuming inside of me but it's dying down and I need to leave. Suddenly I feel suffocated in the room though it's my best friends whom I'm around. I push myself off the bed and grip the doorknob as tightly as possible. I take a few deep breaths, closing my eyes and sigh.

Just as I'm about to leave and am nearly halfway through the door, I hear a soft "Okay, I won't do anything." And as I pass through the hallway, I can just vaguely hear Carlos scolding James and Kendall about how they shouldn't have done what they did. I smile. At least Carlos listened to me.

But little did I know, there was someone who had been listening to us the entire time and had just left as I exited. Mom.

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><p><strong>AN: This wasn't a good chapter. Sorry. And it was short too. :/**

**So... review anyway?**


	18. A Decision

**A/N: Once again, a late birthday update for Vanessa a.k.a poeticjustice13. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and the characters I have created.**

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><p>The day after, I found ways to avoid Kendall and James in every way that I could. I couldn't look them in the eyes knowing what they had done regardless of the fact they assumed it was best for me. Spending time with Carlos, Katie and Rachel got me out of the house and far away from the both of them but it only lasted for so long. Soon enough, they all ventured out and left me with my mother, James and Kendall in the apartment. Luckily, Kendall and James weren't exactly jumping at the chance to talk to each other so they were locked up in their room doing who- knows- what. Not so luckily for me, my mother was watching my every move.<p>

"Hortense?" she calls out, " Oops, I meant Logan. Come here."

I roll my eyes at her before walking towards her. "What?"

"Don't you have anything to tell me, _honey_?" She remarks in a taunting tone.

She was never one for silly, cute little nicknames but ever since she had arrived, she had witnessed Mrs. Knight regard me with such names frequently. The difference, however, was that whenever Mama Knight called me honey or sweetie, I felt loved and like I actually had the motherly love I'd always longed for. Though when I thought about it, she had always been more of a mother to me than my own mother. Mrs. Knight was the one who I could vividly remember taking care of me when I was sick and attending all my hockey games. My parents, particularly my mother, never cared for such things unless they had an educational purpose of some sort. They figured by resting, I would heal in the event that I was sick yet what they didn't know is that Mama Knight often came over to take care of me. Back to the nicknames however, whenever my mother used then, they were used to taunt and tease not to display affection.

"You're the one who called me. How am I supposed to know what you want to hear?" I tell her crossly.

Huffing, she glares at me, "Don't use that tone with me young man. You know very well what I'm talking about."

Tilting my head, I give her a curious but defiant look. "No, I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's about what you said yesterday," she hints.

Instantly, I freeze. But I don't know what. I mean, there was no way that she knew what I talked about with Kendall, James and Carlos... right? Deciding to stay low, I shrug my shoulders, hoping that what I was thinking wasn't true in the least bit.

"Still don't know, huh? Come on, Logan, don't act dumb. I mean you are but don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about when I know you do."

"Honest," I reply, "I really don't."

"Alrighty then, if you say so. Then I'll just tell you. I overheard everything yesterday." As the words I've dreaded come spilling out, I feel uneasiness come over me. She was never supposed to find out and now that she did know, who knows what'll happen.

"So you know I stood up for you?" I ask weakly. It was a failing attempt to avoid what was to come but I knew that if were to talk to me, it would to reprimand me, not praise or thank me.

The largest, most fake smile spreads across her face. "Yeah! Thank you for that by the way. Didn't know you had it in you!" she exclaims, her voice oozing with sarcasm. Instantaneously, her smile drops, a frown replacing it. "No. Your so- called little 'friends' want to call Child Services on me, is that right?"

"N-no. I told them not to," I say, cringing under her intimidating stare.

"You think I don't know that!" she shouts, "I know that and it's only trouble here so I've come to a decision."

Even more frightened, I question, "A decision?"

She nods her head, almost cynical- like. "Yes, a decision. Since it's been so much trouble and I don't think it good for you to be out here, I've come to a conclusion that you and Rachel are coming back with me to Minnesota next week. In that time, you can say goodbye to your friends and complete the formalities after quitting the band."

Everything was going to fast. Saying goodbye to all my friends? Even if we were fighting, it didn't mean I wanted to leave my brothers or my unofficial mother or sister. I didn't want to leave Camille, Kelly and hell, I didn't even want to leave Gustavo. I couldn't leave them all here. I couldn't go back to the small town in Minnesota that constantly made me feel suffocated. And quitting the band? It had never been a part of my life dream but I had come to live singing, dancing and performing in front of people who love and appreciate me. No. I couldn't leave.

It was then I realized that no matter how afraid I was, she couldn't force me to leave. I was eighteen, a legal adult, meaning I didn't have to listen to her or do anything she wanted me to do. "T-technically, I'm an adult," I point out shakily, "And I can't leave everything I have in L.A."

She smiles, almost as if she were expecting that. "Well then, little Rachel isn't eighteen though, is she? Guess I'll just have to take her to Minnesota by herself."

Then, I realized what I hadn't before. My mom knew how to break me. She knew how much Rachel meant to me so now she was taking her away and that was the worst pain of all. My mouth goes dry and my breath hitches in my throat. "No..." I whisper silently.

Resisting to fall onto my knees to beg her to let Rachel stay or crying, I stay as I am as my mother pushes past me and out of the apartment with complete satisfaction that she had achieved her goal just like every time.

I collapse onto the couch, my thoughts running wild. I had lost control of everything at that point. Mom knew how to get what she wanted. Rachel was my world- I couldn't leave her yet I wasn't so sure I could leave everything I had in L.A. either. I had less than a week to decide between Rachel and everything I had in L.A. and it would be the toughest decision I would ever have to make.

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><p><strong>AN: Again, short but very necessary. I hope you all liked it and I'm trying to update when I can but I've been really busy... Oh! And before I forget, in the beginning of this story I told all of you that this story bore some resemblance to my life so just know that this point and beyond do NOT reflect my life in any way, shape, or form. :) Hope you all have a lovely day!**

**So... review!**


	19. My World

**A/N: As always thank you for your wonderful support and I hope you like this chapter. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and the characters I've created.**

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><p>Telling Rachel was one of the hardest things I ever did. It was harder than it was telling her I was leaving Minnesota for L.A. It was harder than telling her Mom was in L.A. It always got harder say time. But I had to do it and I did do it but that didn't mean it was easy to know I was going to have to let her go.<p>

But maybe I wouldn't have to let her go.

In the last week, I had tried to spend as much time with Rachel as I could. Also in that time I'd come to a decision of my own. I had realized that however much I needed to let Rachel go, I just couldn't. Unlike last time, things were so much more out of control and I couldn't leave Rachel alone to fend for herself. I needed to be there for her and hence, I needed to return to Minnesota.

Yet saying goodbye to everyone here in L.A. was something I had been putting off. Everyone at this point was oblivious, completely under the assumption that Rachel was the only one leaving. Not that they were too happy about that either. When they had found out, they nearly wanted to strangle my mother and for once, I hadn't bothered to remind them to calm down. I couldn't even imagine the scene that would unfold when I would announce that was leaving as well.

For now, however, that was the last thing I was worried about. Right now, when Rachel was cuddled up against my side, all I could think about was her. I gently rubbed circles on her back, soothing her in the silence. I knew she didn't want to leave me as much as I didn't want to leave her. So I wouldn't let her down this time. I had to- no, needed- to protect her this time.

"Logan?" she asks in a small voice, "I'm really going to miss you. Will you come visit?"

She sounds so shy, so quiet- so unlike my usual energetic and loud little sister. Hearing her tiny voice just broke my heart, especially since she had no clue I was coming back to Minnesota with her. But now, I figured, was the time I would tell her. After all, she would find out at some point and I hoped that she would have no objection. Above all though, I hoped that she would like my little surprise. I mean, she wouldn't say no, right?

"About that..." I start, "You don't have to miss me, you know why?" Against my chest, I can feel her shake her head no. "Because, I'm coming back to Minnesota with you. Isn't that great?"

No, honestly it was anything but great. Going back to Minnesota meant being near my mother every day and it meant everything would get even worse. But sounding positive helped me believe that everything would be okay eventually... even though it probably wouldn't. Yet being with Rachel would make it batter. I put on a fake smile even though she couldn't see it. Suddenly though, she pulls away from my side quickly causing my hand to fall limply to the bed. Her eyes are confused and almost disappointed.

"What?" she questions, nearly shouting in surprise. However, she's not smiling. Instead, there's a frown in it's place, quickly showing her disapproval of my decision.

"I'm coming..."

"No!" she interrupts, "No, you can't come back with Mom and I."

"Why not?" I ask her curiously.

"You need to stay here with Kendall, James, Carlos and be Big Time Rush. You can't let everyone down," she explains.

"But," I counter, "If I don't go with you, then I'll be letting you down."

Declining what I was saying, she shakes her head. "No you wouldn't. I'm not four years old, Logan. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself and you have responsibilities here and your entire world is here. You can't come back to Minnesota just because you think you need to protect me. I can handle Mom, trust me," she attempts to reassure me.

"But you are my world," I protest, "And I can't leave my world all alone, can I?" I ask playfully in hopes that she'll give in.

"Shut up," she tell me, her voice twined with annoyance. "Look," she sighs, "I know you love me. I'm your little sister and I love you too but you can't possibly imagine leaving L.A."

"Rach, I'm willing to move my world to Minnesota if you'll be there," I groan, frustrated that she's not understanding my point.

Yet when I look at her, she looks just as frustrated if not more. "You don't get it do you, Logan? You keep saying I'm your world- that I mean everything to you- but you don't get it. I need you to stay here not for me but for everyone else. Believe it or not, it's not just you here anymore. You have your brothers, Katie, Mrs. Knight, even Gustavo and Kelly. And you have your fans to think of. To some of them, you're their world. You mean everything to them and if you quit the band, you'll be letting them down. And I can't let you do that."

I hate the fact that she's right. "You're right," I admit, "But that doesn't mean I want to let you go. You leave tomorrow and I'll miss you like crazy."

Jumping into my arms, she kisses my cheek and snuggles closer to my chest. "I'll miss you too, Logie. So much."

I wrap my arms around her tighter, hugging her close to me, wishing that I would never have to let her go. I wish I could let her stay in my arms while I protect her from everything in the world but I knew deep down that she hadn't been innocent and vulnerable for the longest time.

"I promise to visit as often as I can. And don't ever be afraid to call me at any time, I'll be there on the next plane to Minnesota if you ask me to be."

"Don't worry so much," she chuckles, "I'll be okay."

"Now, how about we have some fun?" I asks and in response, I receive an eager nod.

The rest of our day is spent in doing pointless yet enjoyable activities. We spent the day making lunch, going to the pool, the park and playing the silly games we had made up as young children. By the time the day neared sunset, we sat in the couch watching reruns of old cartoons as everyone else ran around busily in preparation for Rachel's departure tomorrow. But I didn't want to think about that right now. Right now, all I wanted to do is enjoy my last moments with Rachel before she had to leave.

Tomorrow the house would seem so quiet, Katie wouldn't have her best friend, I wouldn't have my little sister and a part of our family would be missing. It would be so odd tomorrow and the house would feel empty. I would feel empty.

I embrace Rachel from behind as she sits comfortably in my lap. I would miss her so much.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings and I jolt a bit at the sound. Setting Rachel down from my lap, I walk to the door and Rachel follows closely behind, our cartoons forgotten as we weren't expecting company tonight. As I swing open the door, I find the biggest surprise of all. Camille's leaning against the door frame and she welcomes herself in- just like she's a part of our family... which she is- kissing my cheek and then bending down to give Rachel a light hug. But behind where Camille was stands a familiar man and as I squint, I quickly realize who it is. His tall frame, chocolate brown eyes, rectangular spectacles, and the nose which upholds them are recognizable. I definitely knew who he was.

My eyes widen in surprise and my jaw drops.

"Dad?"

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry I had to leave off there! But first off, a big shout out to Gifted Shadows whose prediction was so close and will only get closer. :) Okay and second, I've been thinking a lot about this lately and I honestly think I can pull off with the next chapter being the last chapter and then an epilogue. Most likely the next chapter will be longer than my chapters have been lately and hopefully, I'll be able to wrap it up before I go on my mini-vacation. We'll see.**

**Oh and don't forget to wish James a Happy 22nd Birthday!**

**So... review?**


	20. Keeping You

**A/N: Hey guys. So sorry for the delay but I got back less than a week ago and I have been busy with the painting job in my house and of course, the Olympics. It's addicting guys! But regardless, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and the characters I have created.**

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><p>For a few minutes, all I could do was stare at him. He hadn't changed at all. And as I stared, a million questions ran through my mind. Why was he here? How did he get here? And so on.<p>

"Hello Logan," he greets in is usual serious tone. He looks past me and waves at Rachel, "Hello Rachel."

"Hi Daddy," she replies in a shy tone. She's half hidden behind my legs and she peeks out, waving to Dad.

To be honest, I was stunned for a moment. I couldn't remember the last time either of us called our Dad "Daddy". But then again, I supposed Rachel was just grateful to see another familiar face. And besides, before he had started working so much, she had always been a daddy's little girl. It was times like this- when she sounded shy and scared- that I realized how truly young she was. For as far as I could remember, she had always been wise beyond her years. Like earlier today, the way she had stopped me from leaving was an incredibly adult-like thing to do when she was barely eleven.

"How... Why are you here? I mean, not that I don't want you to be, but just... Why?" Normally, I wouldn't be so straight forward, but my dad was used to it and at that point, I doubted either of us cared.

"Is your mother here?" he asks in a monotone voice, his eyes scanning over the visible part of the apartment.

I nod slowly, motioning to upstairs. "Yeah she's upstairs."

"I need to talk to her," he says bluntly. His expression was blank, making it impossible for me to guess what he was thinking. He'd always been good at hiding his feelings.

I turn towards Camille and before I even open my mouth to speak, she gives me an understanding look and plops herself down on the couch. "It's okay, Logan. Go."

I nod my head again, taking him upstairs. "Mom," I call her as I approach my room. She swishes around, surprise overtaking her face. Her mouth forms an 'O' shape, her eyes widening.

"Jason!" she exclaims, her voice chock full of fake cheerfulness.

Before she can make another move, Dad looks over his shoulder, looking at me and Rachel, saying, "Kids, please leave us along for a few minutes."

Almost immediately, we back away, shutting the door to mine and Kendall's shared bedroom. Rachel looks up at me expectantly and I shrug. But as we lock eyes, a silent agreement is shared between us and we both every so gently press our ears to the door. We sit in complete silence in hopes to listen to what our parents were saying and though it takes a while, sure enough, we can hear them.

"What are you doing here?" Mom inquires, astonishment still in present in her voice.

"As if you don't know, Joanna," Dad scoffs. I could just imagine Mom rolling her eyes or feigning innocence. "I don't exactly appreciate coming back home to an answering machine full of complaints against you. You're out here to ruin your children's lives? What kind of mother are you?"

Complaints? Phone calls? Why was I not aware of any of this? What was my father talking about?

"A great one, thank you very much. I'm just keeping them from going astray," she replies calmly.

"Going astray? Joanna, please. Our kids are better than most out there and you know that! You can't come here and mess up everything just because you're not satisfied with what you have."

Once Dad finishes talking, Mom gives no answer. Just like always. Nothing had changed. Mom, though it should be the other way around, was afraid of Dad and therefore, scarcely talked back to him.

Dad continues, "You need to stop giving them a hard time right now. No one's perfect, least of all you, so stop pretending that you are. Don't pressure them so much, don't mess with their head and don't ever lay a hand on them understood?"

"Jase, what are you saying? Are you believing a bunch of little kids over your own wife?" I could just imagine Mom glaring at Dad, in hopes that he would give in. That glare could send chills down anyone's spine.

"Don't you Jase me! Yes, I'm believing the kids over you, you know why? Because I don't know how to believe anything you say anymore. One of those voice messages..." he sighs heavily, "Was from someone named Jacob and he was asking for you. Asked when you were going out again. I didn't call back but care to explain?"

Then suddenly, a part of my chest felt hollow. A little part of me had always been avoiding the possibility that Mom was cheating on Dad. I had been ignoring it for the longest time and I had absolutely dreaded it. I wanted it to be anything but true. While my parents never exactly were the best and were even more like acquaintances, no child ever wants their parents separate. Every kid has hopes that one day; his or her family will be one big happy family once again.

I shook my head out of my thoughts. It didn't matter anymore. I just wanted Rachel right now and if their separation could give me that, I would learn to be okay with that.

I press my ear to the door harder, listening to my mother stutter. "No… No, Jake's… I mean Jacob's just a friend?"

"A friend who wants to date you, for what seems like not the first time?" Dad shoots back.

"Jason, you're not hearing me out! You don't know anything!" Mom screeches.

I can hear the crumpling of paper, then flipping such as when I read a book, and then my father's voice. "I think I know just enough. You've been harassing our kids, making their lives a living hell and cheating on me. I have no idea who you are anymore, Joanna," he comment, disgust overtaking his tone. "You're not the woman I married. So with no questions asked, you're going to sign this."

I can hear the papers again and I assume Dad's handed them to Mom.

"What are these?" her voice wavers the slightest bit.

"Divorce papers and custody papers. Sign them and you're free to go to your precious Jacob. Go on, don't think about it. Just do it," Dad persuades.

"No I can't! I won't!" Or at least, that's what she would say if it were someone else. But it was Dad and Mom was afraid and though it was reluctantly, I was sure she was giving it. What she really said was, "Okay."

"And Logan and Rachel? I know you're out there."

I was startled at first, but I quickly find Rachel's hand and open the door hesitantly. We both give sheepish looks to our parents, or rather Dad since Mom was so consumed in the papers. "How did you know?" I ask.

"You're my kids. Of course I know," he pauses, "And listen, I'm really sorry for what you kids have had to go through lately. I know I'm not the greatest father- or even a good one at that- but I only want the best for you. Why didn't you call me and tell me what was happening?"

I open my mouth only to have no words come out. "I... I didn't..."

Dad waves me off, "Never mind but make sure you call me whenever you need me, alright? I want to be more involved in you kids' lives and after all, I'm only a phone call away." He smiles broadly and I feel myself grin back, quickly realizing that this was the first time I saw him smile in the longest time.

"Okay, Dad," I agree, briefly nodding my head. He gently brings me and Rachel close to him and pats us both on the back, giving up a kiss on the forehead.

"I'm sorry I can't stay but I'll visit later. Right now, things need to be taken care of," he states. We part and he forcefully grabs Mom's wrist and drags her downstairs with him. Grudgingly, she has no choice but to comply. Rachel and I follow close behind, both of us bouncing on the balls of our feet and we climb down the wooden stairs. Downstairs, Camille is already there and sure enough, everyone else had gathered there as well. With wide eyes, they watch my parents and while normally I would be embarrassed by all the attention, I'm not bother this one time.

"Let me go, Jason!" my mother pleads, her wrists struggling in his firm hands.

"Joanna, this has gone much too far. You're are now going to apologize to Logan and Rachel and then we'll get going."

Mom groans, "Why in the world should I apologize to those two?"

"Because they deserve an apology after all you put them through."

When she stays silent, Dad grows frustrated and begins dragging her again anyway. "Fine. Be stubborn," he mutter under his breath.

And then it occurs to me. Rachel was still here. "Wait!" I call for him, "Does this mean Rachel gets to stay in L.A. with me?" I ask eagerly.

He nods, smiling yet again. "Yes, son."

And as he takes Mom away, just before they're out of sight, I can see Mom mouthing 'sorry' as she looks directly at me and Rachel. I feel a surge of satisfaction, knowing that she's sorry. She said 'sorry' on her own, quite after Dad's forcefulness and so, she must have genuinely meant it. At least, she repented all her misdeeds. She wasn't a bad person... she was just someone who wanted perfectness in everything and that had guided her down the wrong path.

And then, both Mom and Dad are gone.

Despite my sadness over my parents divorce, I'm overwhelmed with happiness. Maybe their divorce was for the best. I wouldn't have to let go of my baby sister and I wouldn't have to suffer or see her suffer anymore. Small arms wrap around my waist, and I hug Rachel as tightly as possibly before lifting her up into my arms. "It's over honey. It's over," I repeat over and over again into her soft hair and I'm sure I see tears prick the corners of my eyes. I feel several other hands wrap around us and soon enough, we're in the middle of a gigantic group hug. I close my eyes, enjoying the moment. Nothing could bring us down anymore. Nothing. The suffering was over and I could relax. I felt a large weight being lifted off my shoulders and I couldn't be happier. None of us could be happier. I had Rachel forever and everything was going to be okay.

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><p><strong>AN: And no that isn't the very end. There'll be one last chapter after this and an epilogue. Next chapter will be the guys making up. :) Oh yeah and guys, I don't know much about divorce and custody and while I did some research, I'm not sure if everything is correct so please disregard any mistakes. Thank you!**

**I've gotten really horrible at updating this summer. I think after this story and after I finish Stronger, I'll only have one story going on during the school year. But I'm really excited about it and I can't wait to start writing it. **

**So... review?**


	21. Making Up Epilogue

**A/N: I'm so sorry that I've been taking so long between updates but between soccer, summer reading, planning a party and more, I haven't had time to sit down and write consistently. But thank you for your patience and support as always. Much love. :)  
><strong>

**Oh and I kinda smushed the last chapter and epilogue together because one, it wasn't long enough and two, I don't want you guys to wait any longer.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot and the characters I have created.**

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><p>As we break apart, I look at my family with happiness in my eyes. I realize how truly lucky I am to have such kind hearted people looking after me and actually caring about me. It's them who taught me that it's okay to be open and actually show affecting to one another.<p>

I had learned a lot over the course of the past few months. I had learned that people didn't need to be related by blood to be family. I'd learned that family was when you whole-heartedly cared for each other and were there for each other rather than just genetically. This was my family and I knew they would always love and care for me even when everyone else didn't.

And nothing could be more perfect.

Except for one thing.

The guys and I still hadn't made up yet and there was so much I still had to thank them for. In the few minutes that I hadn't been caught up in all the drama, I had come to a realization that it was them who made the phone calls to home that caused my father to come out there.

I take a deep breath before calling them. "Guys, can I talk to you?" I motion them to follow me once they agree and as we slip into the room I share with Kendall, I shut the door behind me, enclosing us in the bedroom and allowing us privacy. "You were the ones that called my dad about Mom, weren't you?"

"You're accusing us," Carlos points out.

"So you mean you had absolutely nothing to do with it?" I say, sarcasm weaved into my voice. I cross my arms across my chest and smirk, knowing they would spill the beans regardless of what I said.

"So what if we did?" James sighs, raising an eyebrow. He crosses his arms over his chest, blowing out a gust of air. "We did it for you."

"Are you mad though?" Carlos asks timidly, being the one to care about others' feeling oh so much. "I hope you aren't, Logie 'cause all we wanted to do is help you."

And then, before I can help myself, I wrap my arms around all three of my brothers, "No, I'm not mad. I'm sorry that I kept pushing all of you away and refusing your help. I knew I needed it- I just didn't want to admit it. Just... thank you. Thank you for saving me and-" I ramble.

"Logan, you're welcome," Kendall replies, tightening his arm around me.

I blush a little, embarrassed by my rambling. "I love you guys. You're the best."

James chuckles, "We know."

Gently shoving him, I stick my tongue out. "Conceited much?"

"Hey!" he cries out and shoves me back lightly.

Kendall and Carlos join in soon after and we're pushing and shoving each other, all four of us laughing uncontrollably in the end.

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><p>Playing water tag with Camille on my shoulders, Jo on Kendall's, Rachel on Carlos' and Katie on James's wasn't the smartest thing to do and we'd figured that out quickly after we started. Nevertheless, it was still fun, therefore we continued playing.<p>

Camille squeals as James splashes water on her from below and tightens her legs below my neck. She scoops her hand down and dunks it into the crystal blue water and while she intends to hit James with her handful of water, she ends up hitting Kendall.

"Hey!" Kendall whines and does the same, though this time hitting Carlos. The girls seem to be getting a kick out of throwing water in our faces because they're giggling uncontrollably and getting each of us as yet as they could.

"Stop it!" James whines, "You're getting my hair wet!"

"You're in the pool, James. What do you think will happen?" Katie snorts, ruffling his perfect hair with wet hands.

There was no way the girls were getting away with all this. And as Kendall, James, Carlos and I share a look, we reach around our necks to undo the legs that were so securely crossed around our bodies, we share the same idea- to push them off our shoulders.

"Logan!" Camille shrieks as she plummets into the water with a loud splash. But as she springs back up, hair drenched and all, she throws her arms around me and dunks me into the water with her. "That what you get," she says defiantly, messing up my hair even more now that we've surfaced.

I grin at her, reaching out I find her hand and intertwine our fingers. She smiles back at me softly and she steps forward, engulfing me in a hug. "I'm really glad I have you," she tells me softly.

And as I look around, I know I'm just as grateful- or maybe even more- to have all them in my life as well.

My heart warms at what she said and in that moment I realize that this entire difficult journey has led me to something that was very much worth it. And at that, the million little pieces that were once my heart started coming back together again.

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><p><strong>AN: Even though I'm not 100% happy with the ending, I do think I wrapped up everything that needed to be wrapped up and I hope you all enjoyed the last installment of 'A Million Little Pieces'. A huge thank you to everyone who stuck with me throughout this story, read, reviewed, alerted, and favorited. This story was a challenge in so many ways and while I'm relieved it's over with on one hand, I'm also sad to see it go. Again thank you to everyone who stuck around.**

**I'll be working on Stronger for now and when I'm done with it (which hopefully will be sometime this fall), I'll most likely take a small break to focus on school more once soccer season's over, and then I'll come back and work on my new story (which I happen to be SO EXCITED FOR!).**

**So, for the last time for this story... review?**


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